


His Arms, Her Crown

by beadedslipper



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bellamy needs Clarke, Clarke needs Bellamy, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-08
Updated: 2014-09-16
Packaged: 2018-02-16 13:52:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2272206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beadedslipper/pseuds/beadedslipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year has passed since the remainder of the original hundred escaped Mt. Weather and reunited with their comrades.  Things are going well for them and they are about to celebrate their first anniversary on earth.  But on the ground things never stay simple or safe for long.  When Clarke is separated from the group during a routine mission how will she ever find her way back home?  And how will Bellamy lead the people who need him now more than ever when all he can think about is getting his princess back?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Descent

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place post S1 finale and assumes that Bellamy and Finn survived, the Ark made it to ground, and Clarke and the others have been freed from Mount Weather.

“Let’s get these posts up!”  Bellamy Blake walked the camp, overseeing the buzz of activity currently taking place within the walls.  They probably ought to stop calling it camp soon.  In the last year the original drop ship site had become more of a small village, complete with permanent structures made from sturdy logs, food storage, and a wall made from more than scrap metal, branches, and hope. 

It had been an uphill battle but, since the remaining hundred had emerged out of the ashes of Mt. Weather and reunited, a new sense of camaraderie had them banding together to continue to build their society, separate from that of Arkdown.  The two camps were still cordial, still freely shared ideas and skills, but they were autonomous.  Here, at Dropsite, there was greater focus on fairness, equality, and justice, rather than the mentality of sustaining the species at any cost that was heavily ingrained in the older generation.

Originally, the mothership had tried to insist that her children return, but the community that the council had inadvertently built out of the delinquent population had summarily refused.  All of them.  Even those that had family to go back to.  Even those that had a guarantee of a good life at Arkdown. 

 _Even Clarke_ , his brain supplied, as it had been doing more and more lately.  He didn’t have time for that right now, so he kept walking.  Even though they had formed a tentative truce with the Grounders in the area (thanks to Clarke saving Anya’s life) and it wasn’t really necessary to carry around guns in camp anymore, Bellamy had never gotten into the habit of putting his down.  It was still strapped across his back, a reassuring weight that bounced against his spine. 

He watched as ropes strung with small wooden bowls were raised around the camp.  Later the bowls would be filled with some phosphorescent moss that Finn had found on one of his ‘expeditions’.  Bellamy would have scoffed if Spacewalker didn’t routinely come back with something useful.  He was tempted to scoff anyway.  He still didn’t like the guy, though they had reached an understanding for those months that it was just the two of them against the whole planet.

He passed Monty and Jasper, together as usual.  Monty had really benefitted from the arrival of the Ark.  Now able to continue learning from his parents, he had become a valuable and respected member of camp.  Between him and a rehabilitated Raven, the camp had working walkie-talkies, candles that didn’t smell, and a field full of crops that had already started bearing fruit.  As for Jasper, the lanky teen had firmly ensconced himself as Bellamy’s second alongside Miller.  He never would have thought it, but he had really come to rely on the goof and Jasper looked up to him like a brother.

The dynamic duo was currently nurturing their latest brew.  They were experimenting with some new ingredients, including some wild blackberries he’d stumbled upon during the last hunting trip.  Raven sat at a nearby bench working furiously so they might have music.  Finn perched at her elbow, stringing garlands of wildflowers, a covey of the younger girls gathered around him and doing the same.  All of this for the upcoming festivities. 

To celebrate a year of peace, in classic Dropsite fashion, they were throwing a giant party.  The Arkers were invited and they would all stay together for a few nights.  Part of him felt like he was back in primary classes and giving show and tell for the parents, but mostly he was proud.  They were the established camp.  They had proven themselves.  The Arkers actually seemed to respect their superior knowledge.  So he would ignore the part of him that felt like a little boy waiting on his teacher’s approval and he would stand tall and proud with his people surrounding him when the Arkers walked through the gate.

“Bell!” Octavia trotted up to him, a huge grin on her lips.  Since their reunion they had patched things up and now his little sister was almost perpetually happy.  Back on the Ark, seeing her smile like this had been all he’d ever wanted.  Lincoln ambled up more slowly, a constant shadow.  When the couple had returned to camp scant weeks after the rest had reunited, Bellamy had stubbornly held on to his distrust of the stoic grounder.  Now Bellamy trusted Lincoln as much as he trusted Clarke.  The grounder had made an invaluable impression on camp, teaching them about edible and poisonous plants, weather phenomena, and becoming their most efficient hunter.  It was a miracle they survived as long as they had without him.

“Hey O.  What’s up?”

“Clarke wanted to see you.  I think she and the others are about ready to head out.”

He nodded.  “Alright.  She at home?”

“Yep.” As quick as she came, Octavia skipped off again.  She had bullied Lincoln into helping her catch some of her butterflies to be released at the height of the festivities.  When she presented the idea during planning he had glanced at Clarke, who shrugged, and said why not.  When she got an idea into her head, as long as it wasn’t dangerous, it was easier to just go with it.  It would certainly make a statement.

Bellamy headed towards the largest cabin near the back of camp.  They had decided on large shared houses to reduce labor and so far it was working.  Jasper, with his usual exuberance, had named this particular cabin Alpha, “because, like, you and Clarke are the Alphas…you know, like wolves.”

At the time he and Clarke had shared an exasperated glance but, despite their best efforts, the name stuck.  It was accurate enough.  Everyone who had any kind of power in camp stayed here.  Jasper, Monty, Raven, Finn, Miller, Clarke, and him.  The only ones who lived separately were Octavia and Lincoln, who shared a smaller, better camouflaged dwelling in the rear corner of camp near a tunnel.  The grounder had built it himself.  As a big brother, it should probably concern Bellamy that his sister was essentially nesting.

He strode into the building, glancing left and right into the empty sections.  They didn’t exactly have rooms, just partitions and pieces of canvas to give the illusion of privacy.  Clarke’s was towards the back of the building, directly across from his, but he didn’t need to go that far.  She was standing in the ‘common area’ at the table he and Finn had built over the winter, packing a knapsack full of supplies.  She looked up when he got close, smiling warmly.

“Hey.  How’s it going out there?”

He couldn’t help but smile back.  “Not too bad.  Everyone is definitely enthusiastic, that’s for sure.”

Clarke’s smile widened.  “Any reason for a party, right?”

He chuckled.  “Yeah.  But I think they’re genuinely excited.  We all want to show the Arkers what we’re capable of.  I never thought I’d say it, but I’m proud of them.  We’ve come a long way.”

Clarke nodded.  “Me too.  We deserve to celebrate.” She met his eyes.  “All of us.” 

For a second neither of them said anything and the moment stretched out between them, like it had been more and more lately.  Privately, he blamed it all on her and her damnably blue eyes that just captured him.  When they had first seen the ocean, Clarke had exclaimed that it was the bluest blue she had ever seen.  Bellamy had to disagree.

There was something pregnant in these moments between them that Bellamy both feared and craved, like he was standing on the precipice of something wonderful.  He didn’t quite understand it which meant he let Clarke take the lead and she never did anything about it.

As usual, she blinked and the moment snapped like twine.  She chuckled.  “That means me too and I intend to go to Arkdown and get back here as fast as possible so I can actually take a break for once.”

Bellamy hid his disappointment with a smirk.  “That I can get on board with.  Meet you by the fire?  I’ll bring the booze.”

“Deal!” Clarke agreed enthusiastically, zipping up her pack and slinging it over her shoulder.  Bellamy trailed her out the door and across camp, talking her through the remainder of the preparations until they got to the gate where Jasper and Octavia were waiting for her.  Only the best to lead the Arkers to Dropsite.  Bellamy stopped Clarke with a hand on her shoulder when they were a few steps away from the others.  She glanced up at him, quirking an eyebrow.

“You have everything you need?  Food, water, knife?”

Clarke nodded.  “Check, check, and check.  Jas has the rifle, O has her sword, and I’ve got this.” She reached behind her, pulling his little handgun out of her shorts.  “Remember this?  Raven managed to rig some of the new bullets so that they fit it.  I like it better than the rifle.”

He swallowed, nodding.  He really liked the idea of something of his keeping Clarke safe while he couldn’t be there to…keep her safe.  He realized she was waiting for a response, so he quickly spat out a ‘Great!’

Smooth Blake.  Real smooth.

Luckily she didn’t seem to feel like embarrassing him today.  They walked over to the others and Bellamy wrapped his sister up in a hug.  “O.  Be safe okay?  Don’t go off on your own.”  Octavia opened her mouth but he beat her to it.  “Yeah, yeah, I know Lincoln turned you into a badass.  Be careful anyway.  No heroics.  Promise.”

Octavia smiled up at her brother.  She was really starting to like the man he had become.  “Yeah, yeah.  I promise.  Jeez, you’re so gloomy.  Don’t worry big brother.  We’ll bring the party back with us.” 

She broke away, trotting over to Lincoln and throwing her arms around the tense man.  He was being forced to stay behind.  It had been a big argument between the two of them.  Their shouting could be heard across camp a few nights ago, the usually quiet grounder not afraid to raise his voice when it came to Octavia’s safety.  Bellamy respected him for that, but the truth was they needed him here.  With both Clarke and Octavia gone they needed one person here who knew at least basic first aid.  Plus, the Arkers were still nervous of grounders, so Octavia showing up with Lincoln in tow wouldn’t really be conducive to the spirit of celebration.  That didn’t mean he had to be happy about it.  Bellamy fought off a smirk as the stoic grounder blatantly pouted when Octavia pecked his lips and flounced away.

Bellamy turned to Jasper, who stood at the ready with his rifle held diagonally across his chest.  He walked up to the younger man, clapping him on the back.  “Good luck.  Keep them safe Jas.  I’m counting on you.”

Jasper flashed a confident smile.  “You got it boss.”  It was hard to believe that a year ago he was afraid to leave the walls.

And just like that they were off.  They had roughly twenty-five miles between them and Arkdown which meant they wouldn’t be back until evening tomorrow.  It didn’t stop Bellamy wishing they could be here, behind the walls, where he knew they would be safe.  He stayed by the gate until they were out of sight.  Just before they crested the last hill he could see a blond head turn back and wave an enthusiastic arm.  He raised a hand in response.

Clarke.  Maybe when she got back he would use the courage from the moonshine he’d promised and get her to explain what was brewing between them.

———————————————————————————————————————————————

Clarke bit into an apple, the flesh peeling away with a satisfying crush.   Now that they’d discovered it, fresh fruit was one of her greatest pleasures here on Earth.  Fresh food of any kind to be honest.  She never could have explained the experience to her younger self, raised on dehydrated tablets and protein mix.  There was nothing like it in the universe.

The three of them, Clarke, Jasper, and Octavia, were taking a break for breakfast.  They were all resting with their back against the same tree, perched on giant roots.  The pitted bark pressed into Clarke’s skin through her thin t-shirt.  Based on the sun, it was about ten o’ clock.  They had made good time since leaving Dropsite, covering roughly seven miles in two hours.  If they kept up this pace they should reach Arkdown in time for dinner.

“Stop thinking so loud Clarke.  I can hear you from over here.” Jasper joked, tossing a blackberry up and catching it in his mouth.

Octavia snorted around her bite of jerky.  Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Someone around here has to think Jas.  Don’t blame me just because you’ve got air between your ears.”

This time Octavia laughed out loud, the sound echoing through the treetops.  Clarke quirked a smile. 

She sighed heavily in satisfaction, throwing her core and watching it arc through the trees.  Maybe she would inadvertently start a new orchard.  She liked that that was the way earth worked, that waste could beget life.  It struck her as a good analogy for the hundred as well.  They came down here as the wastes of their society and look at them now, able to thrive and expand if just given the chance.  She heaved herself to her feet with a grunt.  “Alright, we’ve rested long enough.  Let’s get moving.”

Jasper groaned, throwing his head back against the tree.  “Seriously?” He whined.  “C’mon Clarke, we’ve got loads of time.  What’s that old earth saying?  ‘Sit back and smell the tulips?’”

“Roses.” Octavia muttered.  “Idiot.”

Jasper flapped a hand.  “Same thing.  Seriously, what’s the hurry?  It’s sunny, there aren’t any grounders out to kill us, and when we get back tomorrow it’s for a party.  Chill.”

Clarke hesitated, sorely tempted by the promise of sunbathing like a lizard.  “Sorry Jas.  I would, but I want to catch up with my mom before Kane sweeps her off during the celebration.”  And no part of her had ever expected the friendship-slash-tentative romance that had sprung up between her mother and the cold, dictatorial councillor.  She thought she would be against it, the sting of her father’s loss still fresh, but she was surprisingly okay.  “Besides, I don’t like the look of those clouds over there.”

“Fiiiiine _._ ” Jasper drew his lanky frame up with exaggerated annoyance.  “Killjoy.  With all the time you spend with Bellamy I thought he would’ve gotten rid of that stick up your ass.”

Clarke gasped.  “ _Excuse_  me?”

Jasper shot her a cocky smile over his shoulder.  “What?  You gonna do something about it  _princess_?”  Then he shot off through the trees.

“JASPER!” Clarke shrieked, chasing after him with murder in her eyes.  Jasper gave a whoop, laughing so hard he almost tripped and fell on his face.

Octavia stood up, brushing her pants off and walking leisurely after them.  She rolled her eyes.  “Children.”

———————————————————————————————————————————————

Abby Griffin took a step back and down off her stool, wiping a hand across her damp brow.  She had been hanging herbs and other useful plants for drying for hours.  They were preparing for any medical needs during winter.  Even though it was only late summer, the hundred assured them that it was never too early to start getting ready.  The winters here were harsh and it was better to store now what might not be seen again until the weather got warm again.  With the help of the original Arkers…no, she needed to get used to thinking of them as Dropsite citizens.  It was just hard for her to make that separation in her head.  But anyway, with their help the remainder of their people stood a chance against the colder months.

This very moment the envoy from Dropsite was on its way to collect them and bring them back for the festival.  Clarke was coming and Abby was terribly impatient.  Things between the two of them had improved in leaps and bounds since they had been reunited and, though she knew that Clarke still carried a lot of anger and hurt, on the whole they were as close as they’d ever been.  She was dying to pick her daughter’s brain about some new plant they had stumbled upon, or just to hear how she had been.  They saw each other, but it was never often enough, especially after being separated for so long. 

She was particularly curious to see if she could weasel out any information about Clarke’s…counterpart?  For lack of a better term.  It seemed that things had been shifting between the young leaders the last time they visited in an official capacity.  She wasn’t exactly sure how she felt about the idea of Clarke and Bellamy Blake, the man who had almost killed Jaha, though it seems he had more than proved himself since coming to earth.  Still, with the way Clarke was handling things, Abby didn’t think she could do anything other than give him the benefit of the doubt.

“Hey.”

Speak of the devil.  Abby turned, grinning widely when she saw Kane leaning in the doorway.  “Hey to you too.”

He smiled.  It was soft and not very large, but to Abby it was the brightest smile in the world.  He didn’t smile easily, the burden of too many deaths and too many regrets making him withdrawn and slow to open up, but when he did it was usually for her.  He had actually taken an instant liking to the Blake boy, recognizing a kindred spirit.  In a lot of ways it seemed like Abby was the last hold out against him.  Maybe she ought to take that as a sign.

Kane strode over to her and Abby couldn’t help but admire the strong set of his shoulders and the glimpses of muscle tone that his fitted shirt provided her.  What?  She was middle aged, not dead.

His eyes twinkled, guessing what she was thinking.  He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her into him, letting her rest her head against his neck.  She sighed, closing her eyes contentedly.

“How are you?” He asked.

“Impatient.”

He chuckled.  “Fair enough.  They’ll be here soon though.”

Abby nodded into his chest.  “I know.  It’s just nerves I guess.”

He pressed a kiss to her temple.  “I understand.  Try to relax.  It’s a celebration.”

———————————————————————————————————————————————-

Clarke, Jasper, and Octavia walked, currently in silence, just listening to the sounds of the forest.  They used to wonder at how quiet it was here on earth, but really it wasn’t all that quiet, not with so much life around.  Birds chirping, wind in the trees, falling branches, it was actually pretty loud.

They had been walking most of the day at this point, the sun well past its zenith.  They stopped briefly for lunch, but didn’t linger, even Jasper getting impatient to arrive at Arkdown. 

Clarke shot another glance overhead, frowning at how gray the sky was through the treetops.  Hadn’t it been sunny just a half-mile ago?  The air felt weird too, hot and heavy, and her hair was standing up on her arms.  Suddenly the sky flashed with a bolt of white light.  Clarke froze, staring at the sky.

Jasper turned around to see Clarke standing completely still and gazing into the trees like an idiot.  “Clarke?  Hey, Octavia, hang on a second.”

Octavia turned around, following Jasper as he hurried back over to Clarke.  “Clarke.  Hey, earth to Clarke, anyone home?”

“Shhh!” Clarke hissed, flapping a hand.  “Did you guys see that?”  Jasper and Octavia were both immediately on their guard, grabbing their weapons and scanning around them.

“What is it?  Grounders?” Jasper muttered.

Octavia shook her head.  Lincoln had taught her what to look for.  “No.  There’s no one here but us.”

“No, not that.” Clarke whispered.  “The sky.  Look at the sky.”  Again a burst of white light arced between the treetops.  “There it is again!”

“What is that?” Octavia wondered.

Clarke wracked her brain.  Something, there was something she was forgetting.  “An…electric storm?  Isn’t that what they’re called?”

Before Jasper or Octavia could respond a giant sound echoed through the trees, like the bomb going off on the bridge.

“Get under cover!” Jasper yelled, grabbing Octavia’s stunned hand and dragging her towards a large tree.

Clarke squinched her eyes shut, trying to remember.  Lincoln had told them about this.

_If you get caught in an electric storm…_

_If you get caught in an electric storm…_

_Lincoln was talking, teaching them about the Earth and looking distinctly uncomfortable at the sea of children staring up at him.  He cleared his throat.  “There are all kinds of dangerous weather.  You’ve already seen the toxic fog and a hurricane.  You’ll see snow, and hail, soon enough.  There are also very rare types.  One is an electric storm.  There’s no rain.  The air will feel heavy and hot.  Huge bolts of electricity will come out of the sky.  If you ever get caught out in an electric storm, get away from trees, metal, or other tall things.  The metal will conduct the electricity. If you’re close enough to it, the electricity will jump to you and fry you.  The lighting will be drawn to the tallest thing, like a tree.  The tree will fall and, if you’re under it…”_

“…it’ll fall on you.”  Clarke’s eyes snapped open and she spun to stare and Jasper and Octavia in abject terror.  “No!” She screamed.  “Get away from the trees!  Hurry!”

She sprinted towards the edge of the tree line, Jasper and Octavia yelling and telling her to stop, to wait, but she couldn’t, she had to lead them out of there.

“Clarke!  What are you doing?!” Octavia bellowed, legs churning to keep up with the older girl.

Clarke broke the tree line, skidding to a stop inches away from a sharp drop off.  She spun back towards the forest, waving her arms frantically.  “C’mon!  Get out of there!  Run!”

Octavia, baffled but obedient, darted through the trees, lithe and agile thanks to months of living in the wild.  Jasper followed, struggling with his gangly limbs and the weight of his gun.  He tripped, falling to the ground.  Clarke could see him yell in pain but couldn’t hear it over the crash of another electric bolt.  They were getting closer.

“Jasper!” Clarke yelled, darting back towards the trees.  Octavia saw her and turned, running back to Jasper and helping him to his feet.  The two of them struggled towards Clarke.  Clarke had almost made it back to the edge of the forest when the largest bolt yet arced out of the sky, striking the top of a tree to her right. 

“Clarke!”

A great groaning sound echoed and the tree toppled.  Clarke froze, eyes wide as the tree headed straight for her.  Like a startled rabbit, she spun and sprinted away, trying to outrun gravity.  She felt a wave of air against her back before the ground shook under her feet.  She turned back around, staring at the crown of the tree laying inches from her body.  She heaved a sigh of relief and raised an arm to wave that she was okay.

She looked down in confusion when the ground shuddered again.  Had another tree fallen?  No.  Then what?  It all made sense when the ground under her feet decided to break away and fall down the ledge.  She didn’t remember signing up for this ride but it was too late.  “Landslide.” She breathed.

Her scream shook the birds from the trees.


	2. Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arkdown and Dropsite get the news about Clarke. Bellamy struggles to hide his fear.

“Clarke!” Jasper roared.

“Oh my god.” Octavia breathed.

They ran out of the trees, falling to their knees and staring at the spot where Clarke had been standing.  The sky was still dark save for the periodic flashes of white-hot electricity above their heads.

“Clarke!” Jasper cried again, peering over the edge of the cliff into the gloom.  There was no sound, no flash of golden hair, nothing.  He spun, shrugging his pack off his shoulders and digging, yanking a bolt of rope out and starting to unravel it.

“What are you doing?” Octavia asked.

“Going after Clarke.  She’ll be injured.  We need to get to her as quickly as possible.  We need to…we need to…”

“Hey, hey.” Octavia crouched beside him, placing a hand on his arm.  His haunted expression about broke her heart.  “Jas…you’re in no shape to go on a rescue mission right now.  You’re hurt.” She nodded towards his ankle.  “And I can’t carry you both back.”

Jasper shook his head determinedly.  “I’ll be fine.  I can handle…ahh!” He exclaimed when Octavia pressed on his twisted ankle.  “What the hell?!”

“You’re not fine.” Octavia bit out.  “And Clarke cannot afford the time we spend arguing about it.  The sooner we go the sooner we can come back with help.”

Jasper bit his lip.  “I promised I’d protect you guys.” He whispered.

Octavia sighed.  Damn Bellamy for putting this kind of pressure on him.  “Come on.” She wrapped his arm around her shoulders, heaving him to his feet.  Together they hobbled on.

————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Abby Griffin stood with Marcus Kane at the entrance to Arkdown, a large crowd behind them all gathered to welcome the envoy from Dropsite.  The sentry had given the signal that they were arriving about ten minutes ago.  Abby was beaming but it quickly faded as the bedraggled duo came into sight.  She, Kane, and a few others quickly rushed through the gate.  Kane took Jasper’s weight from Octavia’s shoulders.  Someone else quickly caught Octavia when her legs quivered and gave out.

Kane immediately took control of the situation, calling for stretchers and any available medics.  “What happened?  Where are you hurt?”

An exhausted Jasper began to explain when Octavia could only whimper and shake as her overworked muscles cramped up.  Abby crouched and began massaging Octavia’s calves.  She looked around in confusion.  “Where’s Clarke?”

Marcus paused in his debriefing of Jasper, seemingly noticing for the first time that the blonde medic wasn’t there.  Jasper winced.

“Octavia, where is my daughter?” Abby demanded.  Octavia pursed her lips.

“She fell Mrs. Griffin.”  Abby glanced up at Jasper, her eyes widening in fear.

“Fell…?”

“There was an electric storm.  Clarke was the only one who remembered that we needed to get out of the forest.  She ran ahead.  A tree fell and we were separated.  She was near the edge of a ravine…the ground gave out…I don’t…we couldn’t see her anywhere…” He gritted his teeth.

“We couldn’t go after her.  Jasper was hurt.  We came to get help.” Octavia finished.

Abby’s chin quivered.  “Marcus…”

Kane’s eyes were hard.  “We’ll find her Abby.  I’ll lead a party myself and I’ll send someone to Dropsite to let them know what happened.  She’s their leader.  They’ll send people too.  We’ll find her.”

He didn’t promise they’d find her alive and Abby didn’t know whether to be angry or grateful.  “For now, let’s get everyone inside.  Jasper and Octavia both need rest and Jasper needs medical attention.  I’ll round up some volunteers and we’ll set out as soon as Octavia is well enough to show us the way.  She and the runner will come with us to the accident site and then continue on to Dropsite to lead the others in.”

“I’m good now.  Let’s go.”  Octavia tried to push herself to her feet, grunting when her legs failed to support her.

“You’re not.  You’re no good to Clarke or anyone else if you collapse from exhaustion Octavia.  You’ll stay right here and rest, at least until morning.” Abby tried to smile.  “Doctor’s orders.”

Octavia’s lips quivered.  “Dammit.”

“C’mon.  Let’s get you to the med bay.”  Abby and one of the others helped Octavia up.  Kane was still holding Jasper and someone else came up to support him on the other side.  Together they made their way back into camp.  As the gates closed behind them Abby looked over her shoulder, sending a silent prayer out into the wild that Clarke was okay.

———————————————————————————————————————————————

Bellamy paced camp anxiously, boots kicking up dust and a thunderous look on his face.  People were actively avoiding him at this point.  When he got like this there was no telling what he would do and the only one who could talk him down was Clarke.

Clarke.  She was exactly the problem.  Well, she and Jasper and Octavia.

They were late.  By almost a whole day.

Bellamy was ready to tear his hair out.  Or maybe shoot something.  He had tried calling them on the emergency walkie-talkie all groups leaving the camp were required to carry.  They tried not to use them much since batteries were a precious commodity, but when the sun set on the second day and the sentries said they hadn’t seen anyone all day, well, that’s when he started to worry.

Since then he’d tried radioing them three times.  Every time he got nothing but static.  He was verging on frantic and seriously considering taking a group to go find them, even if it was just to shake some sense into them.  He knew when they got back Clarke would tell him he overreacted.  Things were peaceful now.  They hadn’t had an altercation with grounders in months and, as far as anyone knew, the Reapers were content to stay in their tunnels.  Normally he would let her voice in his head calm him down and help him be more rational, but this time…he just had a bad feeling and he couldn’t shake it.

A piercing whistle had his head whipping towards the gate.  The sentry had sighted people, one whistle for friendlies.

“About fucking time.” Bellamy hissed, trotting towards the gate and waving an arm to open it.  “I’m gonna wring her neck.”  When he got close he shouted up to the sentry.  “Who is it?!”

“Looks like Octavia and Dr. Griffin!”

Bellamy frowned.  “Only them?!”

“Yep!”

The giant doors swung open.  There should have been a small army of people outside the gates, led by Jasper, Clarke, and Octavia.  Instead, two solitary figures approached camp.  Rather than excitement and anticipation for the festival, their expression were grim and tired.  Something was wrong.

Bellamy tried not to jump to conclusions, waiting impatiently until Octavia and Dr. Griffin made it into camp.  “Hey O.  Dr. G.  Where is everyone?  Where are Clarke and Jasper?”

“Bell…” Octavia began when suddenly a giant brown blur crashed into her.  Lincoln swept her up in his arms, crushing her to him.  Just as quickly he set her back on her feet, running hands and eyes over her body.  “Are you okay?  Are you hurt?”

She rested a hand on his arm, smiling tiredly into his face.  “I’m fine.  I promise.”

Lincoln hesitated, clearly skeptical, before apparently deciding that was good enough and smashing his lips against hers.  Octavia responded immediately, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him with abandon.

Bellamy sighed, rolling his eyes.  This could take a while.  They were disgustingly in love.  He turned his attention to a wide-eyed Abby.  “Ignore them.  Tell me what happened.  We were expecting a crowd.  Why is it only you and O?  Why aren’t Clarke and Jasper with you?”

A year ago Abby would have been offended at his commanding tone, but Bellamy was leader here, with Clarke.  He had the same responsibility and authority as she and Marcus did and was asking for the information he needed to do his job.  She respected him for that.

“Jasper is fine.  He’s at Arkdown recovering from a strained ankle.”

“And Clarke?” He demanded, undeterred.  Not for the first time Abby wondered exactly how this passionate young man felt about her daughter.

She sighed, eyes shuttering.  “We’re not sure.”

Bellamy’s eyes flashed.  “What do you mean you’re not sure?”

“We were caught in that electric storm.” Bellamy’s gaze shot to Octavia, apparently finished with her reunion.  She quickly recounted what happened.  By the end Bellamy’s lips were a thin line, his hands balled into white-knuckled fists.

“How long?” He asked.

“About a day and a half.” Octavia admitted.

He spat a curse.  That was a day and a half too long.  There were a hundred, no, a thousand different things that could have happened to her between now and then.  How long had she been calling for help?  Or maybe she was unconscious, broken and helpless at the bottom of that ravine…maybe she was…no.  He wouldn’t believe it.  Not until he saw it with his own eyes.  And he would, he fully intended to find her himself.

“Marcus and a small search party are already at the cliff.  We went there first then came here to get backup.  More hands and eyes will help.” Dr. Griffin added.

Bellamy gritted his teeth and nodded, not trusting himself to answer her civilly.  Whirling, he shouted in a voice that his people had learned meant business.  “Get me Miller, Raven, and Finn.  Now!”

He saw three people run off in different directions and within minutes the three were running up to them panting.

“What’s going on Bell?” Raven asked.

He didn’t waste any time.  “Clarke’s missing.  Likely injured.” He ignored the collective gasp.  “We’re going after her.  Here’s what’s gonna happen.  Finn, Miller, you’re with me.  Miller, get a team together, no more than five, a mix of trackers and gunners.  Make sure Coughlin and Simone are on it.”  He turned to his sister.  “Octavia, I’m gonna have to split you and loverboy up again.  We need him.  He’s got the best woodcraft out of any of us.” When she opened her mouth he shook his head.  “Don’t even say it O.  You need to rest and I need you here.  Be Clarke.  Raven will be me.” He glanced at the dark-skinned girl who suddenly looked nervous.  “You can do it Reyes.  The two of you will lead the camp while we’re gone and we won’t be leaving them without a medic.  Keep everyone inside the walls.  Octavia’s good, but she won’t be able to handle any serious injuries so keep the morons from doing anything stupid.  Stay alert and stay smart.”  He spun to Dr. Griffin.  “What’re your orders?”

“I’m at your disposal.”

Bellamy raised a surprised brow.  “How’d you wrangle that one?”

Abby shrugged.  “I can be convincing.”  Marcus certainly hadn’t been happy about it, but they were equals and she never let him forget it.

_The previous morning:_

_“Absolutely not.”_

_Abby ignored him, stuffing her pack full of useful things.  Rope, bandages, antiseptic, splints, pain-numbing plants, a blanket.  Marcus marched over, grabbing her shoulders and forcing her to face him._

_“Abby, you cannot come with us.”_

_Her eyes hardened.  “You will not stop me on this one Marcus.”_

_“We can’t leave them without a medic…”_

_“Jackson is more than capable…”_

_“…or a leader!” He insisted._

_She broke away, glaring.  “Don’t give me that.  You’ve been mentoring Sinclair and Nazir for weeks.  They’re ready and when we find her Clarke will need an experienced medic to stabilize her until we can get her back here.  You know I’m right, why are you fighting me on this?!”_

_“Because I can’t lose you!” He cried.  His eyes closed and he sighed heavily.  “You’ve haven’t been outside the walls without five guards, or me, since we landed here.  You’re all I have.  If I lose you too, after everything, I really will lose it.”_

_Abby melted.  She rested her palm against his cheeks, waiting until he looked at her.  “I love you too.  I have to do this Marcus.”_

_His shoulders slumped.  “I know.”_

Abby was just as worried about him.  He had more guns on his end but, before the treaty, that hadn’t helped the hundred.  They both had to trust that the other would come home safe.  But for now she refocused on Bellamy.  If things went the way she expected, she and Marcus would be reunited soon.

Bellamy didn’t disappoint, nodding and saying, “Fair enough.  In that case you’re with us.  Without Clarke, you’re our best medic and if we’ve learned anything it’s that she probably won’t be the only one to need you.” He addressed the group.  “We leave in one hour, do what you need to do.  Dismissed.”

Like good soldiers the group dispersed, those leaving camp going to prepare themselves.  Raven gathered the remainder of camp to let them know what was going on.  Octavia shared a passionate kiss with Lincoln before breaking away to follow her.

Bellamy stalked back to his cabin, fighting the urge to scream at the sky.  People were already starting to whisper nervously with one of their leaders being gone.  Seeing the other blatantly losing it would hardly be comforting.

He threw himself past the partition and onto his pallet, seething and not able to do anything about it, at least not for the next hour.  He fought against the burning in his chest that felt uncomfortably like despair.

He couldn’t lose her.  He couldn’t.  Not before they even had a chance to be…more.

He could kick himself.  He should have told her before she left.  He had been a coward.  He shouldn’t have waited for her to make a move.  He should have told her every day as soon as he realized he cared about her more than his friend, his balance, the one person who really understood how hard it was.

If…when they found her he wouldn’t waste any more time.  Life here was unpredictable and usually short.  They were fooling themselves to think they had the luxury of time.

He flipped over onto his back, spread-eagled and staring at the high beams above him.

God he hoped she was alive.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

Silence.  Wildlife had fled the area when the rocks started falling.  Dust was still thick in the air.  A single, solitary fox crept closer to the wreckage, its curiosity driving it forward.

Suddenly the debris shifted, rocks and pebbles and dust dislodging from the whole and tumbling downward.  A broken groan wavered through the air.  The fox turned tail, deciding that curiosity was overrated.  A blonde head broke the surface, followed by arms and a torso.

Clarke breathed deeply of the fresh air.  She was bloodied, bruised, disoriented.

But she was alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, Chapter 2. Coming up, the search for Clarke begins but she doesn’t make it easy for them. She’s no damsel in distress to sit and wait for rescue. Hope you liked it! =)


	3. Ragged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s chapter 3! Thank you so much to every who has been reading, your kudos and comments make my day! I hope you like this one!

Clarke startled awake, blue eyes wide and darting everywhere at once.  She breathed a sigh of relief.  Just a bird.  After she had dug her way out of the landslide she had stumbled like a drunk along the ravine.  Eventually it opened up onto a small copse of trees.  She had chosen one big enough to cover her whole back and promptly collapsed into a near-comatose sleep.

Now that she was awake she focused past the pain and tried to assess the extent of her injuries.  She had bruises and lacerations on pretty much every inch of her body, no doubt from being pummeled by rocks on her way down.  Her head throbbed.  Probably concussion.  Not much she could do about that right now.  Her shoulder was also a steady source of pain.  She glanced down at it, gagging at the unnatural angle.  It looked dislocated.  That she  _could_  do something about.  It wouldn’t be pleasant, but…

Slowly, with much grunting and groaning, she eased herself upright.  She grabbed a stick and stuck it between her teeth.  Then she braced her shoulder against the side of the tree and mentally counted to three.  On two she wrenched, screaming around the stick when her shoulder popped back into place.  She fell to her knees, breathing harshly through the pain.  Her arm hung limply at her side.  It would need time to heal but at least she could use it if she had to.  Using her teeth and her right hand she tore the bottom of her shirt and turned it into a makeshift sling.

Then she started walking.  She wasn’t really sure where she was but if she assumed she had fallen relatively straight down then she just needed to turn around and make her way in the general direction of camp.  She would need food and water sooner rather than later and eventually she would need to find a way out of this ravine but at least she was moving.

She had to stop and rest way more often than she would’ve liked to.  She knew she was in a vulnerable position here, lost, alone, injured, in potentially hostile territory.  It was pure dumb luck that she still had her knife and Bellamy’s gun, some minor form of self-defense.  The rest of her pack had been lost in the rubble.  Around four hours in she came across a struggling apple tree.  She blessed the low hanging fruit, picking and eating three in quick succession.  It gave her energy and, though it wasn’t as good as water, the juicy fruit would keep her hydrated until she could find a lake or river.

She only stopped for the day when the sun sank over the edge of the ravine.  The ground was rocky and treacherous and she really couldn’t afford twisting an ankle in the dark as much as she would’ve preferred to keep walking.  She propped herself against the side of the ravine between two rocks and let herself fall into blissful oblivion.

She didn’t notice the dark cavern not twenty feet from her bed.

———————————————————————————————————————————————

He pushed them hard, few stops, a punishing pace, Bellamy was on a mission.  He was always out in front of the pack, doggedly pushing his way through the verdant greenery.  Lincoln kept up with him but everyone else trailed behind, keeping up as well as they could.  Only his fierce protective instincts and some serious self-restraint kept him from leaving them all in the dust.  All he could see was an image of Clarke, bleeding and broken, alone and afraid at the bottom of a cliff, pinned by a giant rock that was slowly squeezing the life out of her.  He had to get to her.

At least the others seemed to feel the same if the way they didn’t protest his breakneck speed was any indication.

Clarke’s mom was able to show them the way and, with Bellamy driving them, they made it to the cliff within a few hours.  When they got close they could see a few people milling around the top of the ravine.  They had set up a small campsite a decent distance away from the edge and a few people were tending a fire.  One was keeping a close eye on a stake driven into the ground from which extended a long rope.  The rope was pulled taught over the ground and extended over the edge telling Bellamy that some of them must have already made their way down.

“Dr. Griffin!” One of the men greeted them, standing up from his place by the fire.

“Casper.  Where’s Kane?” She asked, looking around the site.

He nodded towards the cliff.  “Boss-man’s over the edge with Potema and Gill.  I see you brought reinforcements.”

Abby smirked.  “Yes.  You remember Bellamy Blake.  He governs Dropsite with Clarke.  Make sure everyone knows to listen to him like they would listen to me or Kane.”

“You got it Doc.”

Taking his cue, Bellamy began dishing out orders.  “Alright.  Lincoln, Finn, Dr. Griffin, you’re with me over the edge.  Miller, keep the rest here and safeguard our return.  No trouble.”

Miller nodded, organizing his people.  Bellamy and his team headed over to the rope.  Bellamy immediately grabbed it.  He was so close.  He wrapped the anchored end around his right arm and the trailing end beneath his thighs to be gripped in his left.  Among his hundreds of lessons, Lincoln had taught them how to rappel and Bellamy made it down the wall with ease, glancing up to make sure the others were following before turning his attention to the accident site.

Kane stood nearby supervising the excavation and Bellamy quickly walked over to him.

“Blake.” The older man greeted.

“Anything yet?”

Kane shook his head.  “Nothing useful.  Some blood spatter but not enough to worry about.  She was here but she isn’t anymore.  Which is good news.  It means she’s alive.”  He glanced at the rope, now supporting Finn.  “Abby with you?”

“She’s on her way down.  How long have you been searching?  Have you started further into the ravine yet?”

“We got here midmorning.  It took us a little while to get the anchor in a spot that didn’t look like it was about to fall off.  Weather hasn’t been kind to this place.  We’ve been excavating for a few hours now.  We haven’t gone any further in.  We didn’t want to leave when reinforcement were on their way.  We’ll do better with more eyes and your team has more experienced trackers.”

By this time the others had reached the ground and Kane’s eyes immediately shot to Dr. Griffin, raking over her before he relaxed when he could see she was unharmed.  She appeared to give him the same careful once over as the group gathered.  Too slowly for Bellamy they started planning next steps.  Bellamy wanted to take Lincoln and Finn and Dr. Griffin further into the ravine.  If she wasn’t here then there was no sense staying.

“Sir!  I found something!”

Bellamy’s head snapped up to see one of the workers picking their way carefully over the rubble towards them.  He was holding a tattered knapsack that Bellamy immediately recognized.  It was the same one that he’d watched Clarke pack just a few days ago.

Kane shot him a questioning glance.

“It’s hers.” He confirmed.  “Now can we go?  We’re wasting time here.”

Kane glanced at the sky.  “It’s getting late, we should regroup and start again in the morning.”

“Are you kidding?  There’s still plenty of light left!”

The older man frowned.  “It’ll get dark in here earlier with these high walls.  We won’t be able to see her even if we find her.”

“So we’ll light torches!  For fuck’s sake, for all we know she could be collapsed a half mile up the ravine and you want to wait another night?!  You’re insane!  If you’re not willing I’ll take my people and go on alone.  Thanks for your help but Clarke deserves better than that.”

Lincoln and Finn were both nodding along with Bellamy’s impassioned speech.  She was important to all of them.  In a lot of ways she was the heart of the camp, the mother figure.  Despite his rough start, Bellamy was easier to love, easier to follow with his burning eyes and consuming energy.  Caring about Clarke had snuck up on them.  At first glance she was cold and pragmatic and superior, but as they got to know her she revealed her loyalty and her fierce compassion.  She had sat up nights with all of them at one point or another when they had been so injured that it wasn’t sure they would pull through.  And when they finally did she would greet them with a beaming smile like they had given her a personal gift just by living.  There wasn’t a lot any of them wouldn’t do for Clarke and Kane’s reticence was almost offensive.

Despite Bellamy’s words Kane still hesitated.  As usual it was Abby who managed to get him to see past logic.

“Marcus, Bellamy is right.  We can’t afford to wait another night.  It’s already been too long with the kind of injuries Clarke has probably sustained.  And even if you won’t go with them, I will.”

He huffed a sigh, running a frustrated hand through his hair.  “You’re determined not to make this easy on me, aren’t you?”

Abby smirked wryly.  “When have I ever made anything easy on you?”

“True.  Fine.  The five of us and half of our gunners will head deeper in.  The other half will stay to guard our return.  Satisfied?”

“I won’t be satisfied until Clarke is safe home again.  But for now?  It’s a start.” Bellamy acquiesced.

————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Clarke startled awake.  It was dark now.  Her head was pounding and she squinted, trying to figure out what had woken her.  The sound of whoops and hollers met her ears.  Now that it was lit by torchlight, she could see the opening of a cave and her eyes widened in terror.

_Reapers._

She kept very quiet, barely even breathing.  Maybe they were moving away from her.  Maybe…maybe…

“Shit.” She breathed.  As quickly and quietly as possible she levered herself to her feet, wincing at the body-wide ache.  She started to awkwardly shuffle-run, holding her breath for fear of making too much noise.  Just when she thought they might not notice her, there was a long whistle and the whoops and hollers took on new volume.

“Double-shit.” She’d been spotted.  She started sprinting, gritting her teeth against the jarring pain that echoed through her every time her feet slammed the rock.  The breath burned in her lungs and her battered body screamed in protest.  No matter how hard she ran she could hear the Reapers gaining, the sound of their slavering shouts sending shivers down her spine.

Fear gave her strength and she put on a burst of speed.  She reacted instinctively when she saw a slight incline, clawing and scrabbling her way up and out of the ravine.  Her head whipped back and forth.  She needed somewhere to hide and fast.  She could hear the Reapers climbing the ravine.

A hand grabbed her ankle and yanked her down.  She shrieked, kicking at anything she could reach as the first Reaper crested the ridge.  He pulled out a knife made of bone and dug it teasingly down her thigh, cutting deeply.   He grinned darkly into her face, his rank breath making it hard to think.   His ragged nails grabbed at her neck, ripping and tearing her clothes.  She recoiled.  Fear shocked through her and for the first time in a long time she really thought she was going to die.  She would never see her family again, never taste Jasper and Monty’s moonshine, never laugh with Raven or hug Octavia or argue with Bellamy.

Bellamy.  Bellamy!

Some shred of sanity returned to her and she scrabbled, pulling out Bellamy’s gun, pointing it in the Reaper’s grotesque face, and firing.

The close range sent him flailing backwards over the cliff edge.  The sound left a ringing in her ears and there was an unexpected amount of blood on her face and clothes. 

“Thank you Bellamy.” She panted.

She scrambled quickly to her feet, ripping the now-pointless sling from her neck and using it as a tourniquet to try to stem the alarming amount of blood flowing from her leg.  Then she turned tail and kept running.  One of them might be dead but that wouldn’t stop a Reaper hunting party. 

Out of the ravine, the forest quickly sprouted up again.  She picked the tallest tree she could see and started climbing.  The Reapers caught up with her when she was only halfway up.  Immediately they followed.  Only one could come up at a time, the rest hooting and hollering from the ground.  Clarke gritted her teeth and pushed on.  Her arm and leg were throbbing.  Her whole body was quivering with adrenaline and fear.  Eventually she would run out of either tree or energy and have to make a stand.

She was going to die here.

Well, if that was the case she would make sure they had to actually kill her.  She refused to sit in a mine car, too weak to move, waiting for the day that she would be eaten.  No.  No way.  She would take so many of them down that they would be forced to end her, here and now.

Determined, she got as high as she could before blood loss started to make her vision swim.  Then she turned, straddled a sturdy branch, and held her knife in one hand and Bellamy’s gun in the other. 

She waited.  When one got close to her branch she shot him right between the eyes with no compunctions.  Reapers were little better than inbred, radiation-fried animals and there was a general consensus among the non-Reaper population that if you were in a position to kill one it died. 

At first she didn’t notice when she ran out of bullets, the trigger clicking impotently when she pulled it.  When she did notice she spat a curse instead of a bullet into the face of the next Reaper, pulling herself up so that she was standing on her branch and brandishing her knife.  She hacked and slashed at hands and faces until every part of her was stained with blood, until her clothes were sticky with it.

She missed the Reaper that came up behind her until his meaty hand wrapped around her ankle and pulled.  She screamed, making sure to slash him on the way down.  She was falling.   _Again_.  Air whooshed in her ears.  Branches whipped her arms and pulled her hair.  She desperately hoped she wouldn’t fall on the knife.

When she hit the ground it jarred her straight to the bones.  She had never known this kind of pain but somehow she was still conscious.  She couldn’t move or speak but she could see the mob surrounding her, the Reapers pawing at her arms and legs and face like they were divvying up the tastiest parts of her.  Two of them got into a fight over her eyes.

As she faded away the cadence of their chittering changed from triumphant to fearful.  They began to jump and fidget nervously and Clarke spared a thought to wonder what had them so agitated.  The mists swirled at the edges of her vision.  The last thing she saw was a murky shape that cut the Reapers down with hands that were blades.

Then there was darkness.

———————————————————————————————————————————————

In the shadows at the bottom of the ravine the surviving Reapers ran like marbles over a table.

One straggler stopped, peering down curiously at the body with a hole in its head.  Pretty blue was wrapped up in its fist.  The straggler crouched down, tilting its head curiously and prying the fist open.  It lit up.  Decoration!  It loved decoration.  It glanced left and right, making sure no one else was around to see its decoration and steal it.  When the coast was clear it swept the decoration up, giving it pride of place on its neck next to a rabbit skull.

Then it sprinted after the others back to the den.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My headcanon is that Reapers have no identity, no sense of gender or individuality. They’re like animals. They know mine and not mine, food and not food, alive and dead. That’s why the Reaper refers to himself as ‘it’. The show will probably treat it differently. The books might treat it differently. I don’t know. This is just the way I saw it.


	4. Carter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As the Doctor would say, ‘just this once, everybody lives’. Except maybe some Reapers.

Raven was woken up at an  _ungodly_  hour by someone barging into Alpha cabin and yelling her name.  She groaned.  This whole leadership thing _sucked_.  Bellamy and Clarke could not get back here fast enough.

“What the hell do you want?” Raven spat, glaring blearily at the kid, she was pretty sure his name was Davis.

Davis gulped.  “Um…it’s about Jasper.  He’s back and he’s got two Arkers with him.”

Raven perked up at that.  “Fine.  I’ll be there in five.”

When Davis didn’t move she raised an eyebrow.  “Davis?”

He smiled tentatively.  “Yeah?”

“ _Get out._ ”

His eyes widened comically.  “Right!”  He quickly ducked out leaving Raven to sigh and pinch the bridge of her nose.  It was already shaping up to be long day.

Within the promised five minutes Raven emerged from the cabin, yelling for someone to go get Octavia.  Someone immediately dashed towards the drop ship.  With Lincoln gone Octavia had taken to sleeping in Alpha but she was an early riser. 

Despite her complaints and general surliness, Raven took the responsibility she’d been given seriously.  Bellamy wouldn’t trust just anyone with the safety of the camp and Raven had no intention of letting him down.

Jasper was waiting just inside the gate, supported by two Arkers and looking like he hadn’t slept in days.  Raven’s heart went out to him.  Jasper was known for being a goof, but he could be really hard on himself.  Raven was willing to bet he was blaming himself for what happened to Clarke.

Raven figured she’d open with levity.  “Hey Jas.  What took you so long?  We’ve been waiting on you to start the party.”

His lips twitched.  “Oh, you know me.  Gotta make an entrance.”  Raven’s eyes narrowed at how heavy his voice sounded.  Yep, definitely blaming himself.  Before Raven could say anything else a brown streak barreled past Raven and crashed into Jasper.

“Jasper!”

“Octavia?” The boy asked in surprise.

Octavia pulled her head away from Jasper’s chest and looked up at him.  “I’m so sorry.  I was gonna come back to Arkdown and walk you home but Bell made me stay and keep an eye on the camp.  How’s your ankle?”

His ankle was splinted and wrapped tightly.  He shrugged.  “It’s fine.  Doc says it should be okay to unwrap it in another few days.”  He hesitated, looking at Raven.  “Any word?”

Raven shook her head sadly.  “Nothing yet.”

Jasper slumped in disappointment and Raven quickly added, “But I’m sure they’re already on their way back.  Bellamy’s like a dog with a bone, especially when it comes to Clarke.  If anyone’ll bring her back it’ll be him.  Who knows, maybe this will finally convince them to get their heads out of their asses and just fuck already.  They’d be thanking you then Jasper.”

Jasper huffed a watery laugh.  “Yeah.  Don’t get your hopes up though.”  Octavia made a small noise and Jasper looked stricken.  “That’s not what I…I didn’t mean…”

Raven understood.  He didn’t mean it to sound like he was talking about not hoping for Clarke to come home.

Raven stepped forward and took his hand.  “I know.  She’s gonna be fine.  You’ll see.”

————————————————————————————————————————————————

Bellamy was at the head of the party as they pushed further into the ravine.  Everyone had weapons at the ready and they moved as slow as Bellamy could stand.  They were dangerously close to Reaper territory and no one wanted a run-in with the crazed cannibals.

“How far could she have gone with her injuries?” Finn asked.

“It’s hard to say.  Clearly she was able to walk but other than that we don’t know how badly she was hurt.  Knowing Clarke though, as far as she needed to.” Abby answered.  Lincoln grunted in agreement, watching the top of the ravine.

“Shh.” Bellamy hissed.  He held up a closed fist and everyone immediately froze.  “Did anyone else hear that?”

Kane pushed to the front of the party to stand beside Bellamy.  He squinted in the growing gloom.  He could see indistinct shapes and they were moving towards them very quickly.  “What  _is_ that?”

Bellamy’s eyes flew wide just as one of Kane’s people shouted, “REAPERS!”

“Everyone on guard!” Bellamy commanded.  The reapers were gaining at an incredible speed.  “Ready…open fire!” 

The first reapers went down quickly, like they hadn’t even seen them.  Bellamy frowned.  They seemed even more disorganized than usual.  It was like they weren’t hunting so much as running from something.

They had seen the Reapers coming and with the number of guns they had it was over quickly.  One minute there was a small stampede and the next there was a pile of dead reapers.  Only one had escaped with a gunshot to the kneecap.  He was essentially dead and Kane readied his gun to put the reaper out of his misery.

“Wait!” Abby exclaimed.  “He might know something about Clarke.”

Kane frowned.  “Abby, it can barely communicate.”

“Anything is better than what we have right now.  I will take any chance that I have of finding my daughter.” Abby responded with steel in her voice.  She looked so much like Clarke in that moment that Bellamy felt sick.  He wanted her back so badly.

Kane dropped his gun.  “Fine.”

“Lincoln.” Bellamy called their resident Reaper expert forward.  “Get whatever you can out of him.”

Lincoln nodded coldly.  The company gathered around, holding torches high and preventing the Reaper from crawling away.  Lincoln was just about to begin his interrogation when suddenly Finn gasped.  He shoved past everyone and grabbed something laying on the Reaper’s chest, yanking hard and tearing it away from the other bones and bits of metal decorating his clothing.  He held it in his palm, just staring at it.

He turned slowly and the look in his eyes made Bellamy’s tongue drop into his boots.  “Bellamy.” He murmured.  He held something up to the light.  Bellamy’s eyes widened and he darted forward, grabbing it from Finn and holding it close to his face.

His eyes weren’t playing tricks on him.  There, threaded on a little strip of blue cloth, was a tiny wooden crown.  He knew that crown, knew its curves and edges intimately.  His fingers burned with the memory of that crown.  He had spent probably a month trying to get it right.  It was a gift for Christmas.  His gift.  To Clarke.

Bellamy grabbed the Reaper by the neck and yanked him until they were almost nose to nose.

“Where did you get this?!” He roared, holding the small charm in the Reaper’s face.  “Tell me!!”

The Reaper only responded with a gap-toothed grin, blood on the few teeth he did have, and licked his lips.

Bellamy shoved him away in disgust, pacing back and forth and ignoring the concerned murmurs of the others.  His ears were ringing and he felt like he was on fire.  This was Clarke’s charm.  The charm that, from the day he gave it to her, Clarke always wore around her neck, settled in the hollow between her collarbones.  She never took it off.  Ever.  So, for her not to be wearing it right now meant…it meant…

“Bellamy…” Finn repeated.  Bellamy could hear heartbreak and pity in his voice.

Bellamy stopped moving with his back to the others.  When he spoke his voice was cold and dangerous.  “He’s no use to us.  Kill him.”

“But Bellamy…”

“Don’t say it.”

“But that’s Clarke’s necklace…”

“I said don’t say it.  It doesn’t mean anything.”

“What do you mean?  What’s going on?” Abby demanded. 

Bellamy turned around and she recoiled at the haunted look in his eyes.  He held up what Finn had ripped from the Reaper’s neck.  “This is Clarke’s.  I made it for her and she  _never_  takes it off.  She would never take it off.  But it doesn’t mean anything.”

“Blake…” Kane began when no one said anything.

Bellamy’s eyes flashed and he leveled a glare at the older man.  “No!  It doesn’t mean anything!  She’s not dead!  You can all give up on her but I won’t!  Until I see a body Clarke Griffin is still alive.  She’s alive…she is…she is…” He trailed off, glaring at his boots. 

Kane approached him cautiously, resting a gently hand on his shoulder.  “Alright.  She’s still alive.  But there’s nothing more you can do for her tonight.  At least now we know she came this way.  It’s been a long and stressful day and we all need rest.  Let’s regroup and start fresh in the morning.  Knowing Clarke she’s halfway back to Dropsite and waiting for us.”

And even though Bellamy knew Kane didn’t really believe it, he dropped his head in defeat and allowed himself to be led back towards the campsite.  The blast of the gun that killed the Reaper rang in Bellamy’s head like a door slamming shut.

————————————————————————————————————————————————

For the third time in too brief a period Clarke woke up sore, disoriented, in a place she didn’t recognize.  The difference was that this time she wasn’t alone.  Instead she had a faceful of grounder peering at her curiously.

She shrieked, scrambling backwards.  Her movements jarred her leg and she screamed in pain, curling around it protectively.  She clutched it, shuddering in agony.  That’s right, she’d been cut by Reapers.  She really hoped Reapers were too damaged to understand the benefits of poison.

Large hands entered her field of vision, gently but firmly pulling her hands away from her leg and straightening it out.

“Stay still.” He ordered.

“Where are we?” She asked.  He ignored her, standing up to mix something at a small table.  She tried again.  “Who are you?  What clan are you with?”

Clarke watched him as he moved around.  They were in a small cave jarringly similar to Lincoln’s former living space minus the artwork on the walls, something she and the stoic grounder had bonded over when she got to know him better.

She felt a sudden wave of acute homesickness.  She wondered what the others were doing right now.  Were they looking for her or had they given her up for dead yet?  Few people survived more than a day or two alone in the wilderness so they would certainly be declaring her dead soon.

He approached her with a small cup, crouching before her.  “Drink.” He told her, holding the cup out.

She made no move to accept it, eyeing it warily.  “What is it?”

He rolled his eyes, grabbing her hand and pressing the cup into it before standing back up.  “Drink.” He repeated.

Clarke’s temper sparked.  “You know, I would be a lot more cooperative if you would tell me what’s going on.”

He sighed, turning back around to study her with dark eyes.  She met him stare for stare until he shook his head.  “It’s wormwood.  It’ll help with your head.  You’ve had a fever so it’ll help with that too.”

She frowned, sniffing the cup but still not drinking.  “How long have I been here?”

“Three days.”

“Three days?!” She exclaimed.  She set the cup on the ground and tried to push herself to her feet.  “I have to get back.  The others will be so worried.  I have to let them…ahhh! Dammit!”  In her hurry she’d forgotten and put weight on her leg.  It immediately collapsed under her and she prepared herself for a close encounter with the dirt. 

Instead of the faceplant she was anticipating, strong arms caught her.  She cracked her eyes open to see eyes so brown they were almost black watching her with concern.  When she stared at him the emotion immediately disappeared.  He deposited her gently back on the ground.

“I told you to stay still.  That injury is no scratch.  You lost a lot of blood.  You’ve had a fever for the last three days.  And you fell out of a tree.  You’re lucky to be alive.”

“And I suppose I have you to thank for that?”

He shot her a glance before going back to his concoction.

“…Why did you save me?” She wondered.

When he didn’t answer she rolled her eyes.  Another strong, silent type.  As if she didn’t have enough of those to deal with.

Speaking of Bellamy.

She wondered what he was doing right now.  Had he joined the search for her?  She hoped not.  Without her there he needed to be leading their people.  But she knew he wouldn’t be content to simply wait behind the walls.  No, she was confident that he was leading the search.  And as much as the pragmatist in her wanted to yell at him that their people needed at least one of their leaders, another part of her was glad at the idea of him out there as worried for her as she would be for him if the situation were reversed.

It had only been a few days.  A few terrifying, painful days, but still.  Typically there wasn’t a day that went by that they didn’t see each other.  She’d come to rely on his simple presence, tall and solid and reassuring.  He made her feel safe.  Even though they never talked about it he made her feel cared for.

She missed him.

She  _really_  missed him.  The two of them had gotten much closer, partially because they spent all of their time together, but also because of who they were and what they had to go to.  They found they not only worked well together but that they actually liked each other.  Whereas on the Ark they might never have met, now she considered Bellamy one of her closest friends.

But it was more than that.  Over the last year there had been moments, confusing, rare, sparkling moments where one of them would seek the other out.  Like when they were standing by the fire for Octavia’s birthday party and she leaned her head on his shoulder.  Or when he would reach out to squeeze her hand before he had to talk to the Arkers.  Or when, on the anniversary of her father’s death, he found her and wrapped her up in his arms while she cried silent tears.

God but she wanted that right now.  She wanted to be wrapped up in Bellamy’s arms and know that things were going to be okay.  He would make them okay.  If he was here…no.  That wouldn’t help.  It would just have to wait until she got back.  And she would get back.  To Dropsite.   _And to Bellamy._

Without anything to do Clarke began to pick at her bandages.  She wanted to see the extent of her injury, how much work needed to be done, make sure it wasn’t going to get infected.  Immediately the grounder was there, batting her hands away from her leg.

“No.” He commanded.

She looked into his impassive eyes.  “I’m a medic.  I just want to see how bad it is and if there’s anything that needs to be done.”

He took her hands and pressed them firmly to the ground next to her hips.  “No.” He repeated.

Clarke seethed, glaring at his retreating back.  She threw her hands in the air.  “Fine!  Don’t move, don’t stand up, don’t touch, don’t do anything!  At least tell me your name!”

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

“I’ll drink your poison if you tell me.” She bargained.  She’d drink it anyway.  Wormwood would be very good for her right now, but she wasn’t above a little blackmail.

He grunted and she could swear she saw his lips twitch.  “It’s not poison.  If I wanted you dead, trust me, I’ve had more than enough opportunities.”  He turned back to whatever he was doing.

Clarke sighed, leaving her head back against the cave wall and closing her eyes.

“Carter.”

Clarke sat up in surprise to see the grounder,  _Carter_ , watching her carefully.  Very deliberately, she picked up the cup and drank it down in one.

“Clarke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to everyone who has read and left kudos or commented. You guys make my day!


	5. Unbalanced

Bellamy stalked into Dropsite.  Kane had stayed true to his word and they had resumed the search the next morning.  They had looked everywhere.  Everywhere and nothing.  They were tired, dirty, and defeated.  That wouldn’t have stopped Bellamy.  Even if they had all turned back he would have kept going until he found Clarke.  Kane had been forced to threaten to knock Bellamy out and drag him back to camp in order to get him to give up the search.  They would keep an eye and ear open for Clarke, communicate to Anya’s community that she was missing, but at this point they were apparently ‘wasting time and resources’ and ‘putting their people at risk if they stayed out any longer’.

A small part of him had understood the logic of it.  He knew he couldn’t just leave the camp in Raven’s hands indefinitely.  But the longer they walked, the further away they got from Clarke, the further that rational part of him got shoved and stuffed to the back of his head.  Now he was one roiling, churning mass of anger and self-loathing.  He was furious.  He was breathing too hard and quivering with energy.  He hadn’t felt like this since Charlotte died.

He prowled through the camp.  He needed to find Raven.  He ignored the looks he was getting, excited at first before they turned fearful at the thunderous look on his face.

“Bellamy wait!” Finn called out from behind him.

There she was, sitting around the fire with Octavia and Jasper.

That was when something disconnected in Bellamy.  He really had only intended to talk to Raven and Octavia and see how the camp was doing.  He wanted to distract himself.

Instead he barged into their conversation.  Octavia saw him first.  “Bell?”

He stormed right past her, walked up to Jasper, and punched him right in the face.

“Bellamy!” Octavia screamed.

“What the fuck?!” Raven yelled.

Jasper was sprawled in the dirt.  He sat up, wiping blood from his lip, and looked up at Bellamy with the most betrayed expression in the world.  Bellamy didn’t care.

“THIS IS YOUR FAULT!” Bellamy screamed.  He was beside himself.  He was a passenger in his own body.  “YOU PROMISED TO PROTECT HER!  YOU PROMISED!”

Raven got between him and Jasper.  “Bellamy!”  She put a hand on his chest but he swiped it angrily away.  “Bellamy stop it!  This isn’t helping!”  She touched him again.  “Look around you.” She hissed.

His chest heaved and he struggled to listen to her.  A crowd had gathered.  Through the haze of fury he could see his people staring at him in shock and fear.  Fear.  They hadn’t feared him in over a year.  It wasn’t a good feeling.  But the worst was Jasper.  Octavia was crouched protectively next to him, Lincoln standing protectively over them both in case he decided to attack again.  Octavia glared at Bellamy, on guard against her own brother and that sucked.  But Jasper.  Jasper wasn’t even looking at him anymore.  His eyes were shuttered and withdrawn and he was staring dejectedly at the dirt.

“You’re right.” Jasper murmured.  He pushed himself to his feet, not meeting anyone’s eyes.

“Jasper…” Octavia whispered.

Jasper turned and walked slowly away.

“Jasper!” Octavia scrambled up and started to follow him.  Finn stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.  He shook his head.  “Let him go.  He needs some time.  I’ll send Monty after him in a little while.”

Everyone turned and looked at Bellamy.  He met their condemning stares defiantly.  They were the ones who were wrong.  All of them.  They all gave up on Clarke.  If it wasn’t for them, if he didn’t have to take care of them, he could still be out there looking for her.  They were wrong.  Not him.

When no one seemed inclined to do anything other than stare at him judgmentally Bellamy spun on his heel and stalked off.  The crowd parted in front of him.

It wasn’t a good feeling.

————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Clarke slept a lot.  Simply being awake exhausted her and her body was forcing her to rest so it could heal itself.  Her dreams were murky, evanescent things, vivid when she was asleep but impossible to grasp when she was awake.  All she could ever remember was the feeling of being held tightly.  In her dreams she knew those arms, knew the feel of the body wrapped around her, knew the safe feeling they gave her.

She would recognize those arms if they ever wrapped around her again.  Sometimes she thought she knew them already.  Sometimes she thought they might belong to Bellamy.  If she ever got home she swore she would find out.

It was usually her stomach that woke her up and this time was no different.  She snapped out of sleep when something gurgled nearby, then blushed when she realized it was her.  Carter didn’t even blink, just brought a bowl full of berries and jerky strips to her little nest of furs.

He still hadn’t said why he saved her.  Or why he continued to take care of her.  She had been here more than a week now and he still hadn’t said much of anything despite her frequent questions.  Where were they?  What clan was he with?  When could she go home?  She’d asked every question multiple times but she was only ever answered with a level stare.

Sure, he took good care of her.  He had made her a bed to sleep on which was much more comfortable than the stony floor of the cave.  He fed her and gave her water whenever she asked for it.  He’d even set up a space behind a partition for her to relieve herself.  He also changed her bandages daily which gave her the opportunity to see he was an accomplished healer.  His stitches were tight and even and there was no sign of infection.  She would scar, with such a deep wound it was unavoidable, but he had saved her from much worse.

She just wished she knew  _why_.

Carter brought her a bowl of water and then picked up his satchel and a wicked pair of axes that he strapped across his back.  This was a sign that he was going hunting.  It was the third time he’d done this, only ever gone for a few hours, coming back with small game, a bird or a rabbit, that he made into a stew for dinner.  The first time he went she considered taking the opportunity and escaping but, the truth was, she was still far too weak.  She wouldn’t make it three miles and if Carter didn’t catch her, something else would.

Even now she was still too weak but she was getting there.  Carter had been letting her take small walks with a crutch around the circumference of the cave.  In another few days…maybe.  Clarke had already decided.  If she was well enough, the next time Carter left to hunt she would sneak away.

And then she would go home.

———————————————————————————————————————————————-

Abby sat on a rock just outside the gates of Arkdown staring listlessly into the forest.  She needed to get away but she knew she couldn’t truly have privacy.  That would mean going far enough away that she would be in danger.  She couldn’t let her people down like that.  But there was only a very small part of her that cared about that right now.

Her daughter was dead.

Her baby.  Her beautiful little baby.  She choked on a sob.  “Clarke…” She sighed.

She was such a wonder.  Beautiful and smart and determined.  Idealistic.  So much like her father that it broke Abby’s heart.  And now she was just…gone.

Lost in remembrance, Abby didn’t hear the footsteps until they were right next to her.

“Abby?” Marcus’ voice surprised her and she looked up before she could stop herself.  His eyes softened when he saw her tear-streaked cheeks.  “Oh, Abby…” He sat down next to her and put an arm around her shoulders.

“She’s gone Marcus…”

“You don’t know that, not for sure.”

Abby scoffed.  “Please.  Even if she isn’t dead, she might as well be.  We just _gave up_  Marcus.  She’s my daughter.  How could I just give up?”  She studied her hands in disgust.  They were stained with so much blood and now her daughter’s was there too.  “Bellamy was right.  We should have searched until we had  _proof_.  One way or another.  We should never have stopped.”

“You can’t think like that Abby.  Clarke wouldn’t have wanted that.  She wouldn’t want you to abandon your people to search for her…”

“SHE’S MY DAUGHTER!” Abby cried, springing to her feet.

“…I know.  I know.  And I’m sorry.” Kane stood up and held Abby’s trembling hands.  “She might still be alive Abby.  If she is, we just have to trust in her to find her way home.  And if not…then we’ll have to let her go.”

“I don’t know if I can.  I don’t think it’ll be enough.  I have to  _know_.”

“I’m sorry.” Was all he said.

He didn’t promise to find Clarke.  He didn’t swear to mobilize every able bodied person and mount an epic search.  He couldn’t.  He loved Clarke too…he would’ve tried to be a father-figure to her if he’d had the chance…not a replacement, just…he felt her loss too.  But he had the living to think of and Abby knew it.

She both loved and hated him for it.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Bellamy had been sulking and Octavia had had enough. 

It had been three days since he and Finn and Lincoln returned from searching for Clarke, a day since Bellamy had punched Jasper, and ever since Bellamy stomped around camp, yelling at everyone about anything he could think of.  He was acting like a child at a time when their people needed him to be strong more than ever.  Octavia was done with allowing it.

She found him berating Miller by the smoke hut.  Something about the sentries being lazy and falling asleep.  Miller, who worked his ass off and was as loyal to Bellamy as she was.

No way in hell.

“Bellamy.” Her sharp voice cut through the air.  “I need to talk to you.”

“Not now Octavia.”  He didn’t even look at her.

“It’s important.” She insisted firmly.

He shot her a look over his shoulder.  She stood her ground.  He rolled his eyes.  “Fine.”  He turned back to Miller.  “Just get your guys in order.”

He marched away, blowing past Octavia and out the gates.  Octavia just sighed and followed more sedately.  Eventually he stopped, leaning lazily against a tree trunk and crossing his arms.

“Alright.  Let’s have it.” He grunted antagonistically.

Octavia stared at him, her arms hanging loosely at her sides.  He expected her to yell at him, shout him down and demand he start acting like the leader they needed him to be.  That had originally been her plan but now, looking at him, he looked so  _tired_.  There were heavy bags under his eyes and he looked pale and hunted.

“When was the last time you slept?”

Bellamy’s eyes widened in surprise.  That had  _not_  been what he was expecting her to say.  He looked away.  “I sleep.”

“Really?  When?”

“What does it matter?  I sleep, okay?” Bellamy insisted.  He was fidgeting with something wrapped around his left wrist.  Octavia squinted, then suddenly rushed forward and grabbed his wrist.

“Hey!” He yelled.  She held his wrist close to her face.  There, dangling from blue cloth wrapped three times, was Clarke’s little wooden crown.

“Oh Bell.” She looked up at him.  His eyes were guarded.  “You love her, don’t you?”

“…Does it matter?”

“Of course it matters.  I always wondered you know.  You two are so close.  The way you act…she brings you dinner, you mend her clothing, you both are constantly looking for each other…”

“Enough O.  Please.” His throat was thick.  “It doesn’t matter anymore.  She’s gone.  It just hurts to talk about.”

“You can’t think like that.”

“It’s been over a week!  No one survives that long.  No one.”

“Bellamy Blake!  Do you hear yourself?!  You’re seriously going to give up that easily?!”

“What am I supposed to do O?!  I have to stay here and take care of everyone!”

“So what?  That doesn’t mean you’re helpless.  Expand the perimeter during patrols.  Hunt near the area she disappeared.  If anyone can survive this long it’s gonna be Clarke Griffin so don’t you dare give up!”

Bellamy looked down and Octavia would swear she saw a tear slide down his face.  “I can’t do this without her O.  I just can’t.”

She wrapped him up in a hug, relieved when he squeezed her tightly back.  “You don’t have to big brother.  Even if…even if she never comes back you’ve got her voice in your head.  What would she say about the way you’ve been acting lately?”

He let out a watery chuckle.  “She’d be pretty pissed.”

“She’d kick your ass.”

He laughed again.  “Yeah…”

“So, you’re gonna stop acting like a bear that stepped on a beehive?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Good.  You should also apologize to Miller.  And anyone else you’ve yelled at.  But especially apologize to Jasper.”

He stiffened in her arms.  “I know.”

She let him go and took a step back.  “He’ll forgive you.  Just don’t wait too long moron.”  She turned to go but shot him one last look over her shoulder.  “Love you big brother.”

Then she was gone and Bellamy was alone with his thoughts.  His thoughts were telling him he had been a major douche.  He agreed but he was gonna fix it now.

For Clarke.

——————————————————————————————————————————————-

Clarke fidgeted anxiously.  Carter had been gone a long time.  Longer than any other time before.

Too long.

She tried to think rationally.  Maybe he was hunting bigger game today.  Maybe he just wanted to take a walk.  Or go for a bath.  That wouldn’t be too bad.

_Or maybe he finally got tired of you and left you here to rot._

Clarke grit her teeth to banish the little niggling doubt at the back of her skull.  It didn’t make any sense.  Why would he save her, nurse her back to health, just to leave her here for the birds?

Clarke continued to wait, growing more impatient, staring at the cave entrance and willing him to walk through it with his usual stiff, silent strut.

Nothing.

Just as she was seriously considering taking that crutch and going out and _dragging_  him back (and possibly scolding him for scaring her like this) there was a rustle near the door.  She froze, holding her breath.

…

…

Nothing.

She sagged in disappointment.

She stiffened when she heard a groan.  “Hello?” She called.

No answer.  Warily, she pushed herself up along the wall, reaching for her crutch.  “Who’s there?”

Still nothing.  “Show yourself!”

Carter careened through the doorway and crashed to the floor, an arrow sprouting from his stomach.

“Oh my god, Carter!”  Clarke hobbled quickly over to him and dropped to her knees.  “What happened!?”

“Am…bush.” He moaned.

Clarke wanted to ask who, where, was he followed…a thousand things…but there wasn’t time for that now.  Instead she let her training as medic take over, becoming detached, clinical.

She studied the wound.  It was lucky that it had gone completely through him.  She wouldn’t have to dig around for the arrowhead.  Based on the positioning it had also missed anything vital.  Another stroke of luck.  He was losing a lot of blood but before she could do anything about that, that arrow needed to come out.  She grabbed it by the base with one hand and wrapped the other around the arrow close to the feathers.

“Try to stay still.  This might hurt a little.”

She snapped it off.  Carter groaned, pressing his forehead into the dirt.  “I know.  I’m sorry but we need to turn you over now.”

Between the two of them they managed to flip him.  The arrow made a gross sucking noise when it came out of his body and Clarke winced in sympathy when she saw the hole that was left. 

From all the times that Carter had treated her wounds she knew where he kept his medical supplies.  She quickly found needle and thread and sewed both sides of the wound shut.  She cleaned him up and made sure there was no dirt in the wound that might cause infection.  Then she wrapped his torso with bandages.  She did all this quickly and efficiently and when she was done she sat back on her heels.  She sighed and wiped sweat off her forehead.  All they could do now was wait but she was pretty sure he was out of the woods.

Her eyes and arms felt heavy.  She was still recovering from her own wounds and this had exhausted her.  All she wanted to do was crawl over to her pallet and fall asleep but she had to stay awake and watch over Carter.

Suddenly Carter began twitching and spasming, foam forming at his lips.  Clarke gasped and threw herself across his body, trying to keep him from hurting himself further.  His spasms settled quickly and Clarke pushed herself up on his chest.  Her eyes raked his body for any other injury but she knew there wouldn’t be anything.  She’d seen this before.  With Finn. 

“Shit.  Poison.”  She pushed herself to her feet, ignoring the pain building in her leg, and limped over to Carter’s workbench.  She searched frantically through the debris.  Antitodes.  Living in a society so fond of poison he had to have antidotes, just like Lincoln.  Her fingers found something small and square.  A sardine tin.  She rolled the lid back to reveal three tiny vials.

“Yes!”  She just needed the right one.  She threw herself back at Carter’s prostrate form, holding the tin in front of his searching eyes.  “Look!  Right here, look right here Carter.  I found the antidotes.  You just have to tell me which one.”

His eyes rolled in his skull, glazed and unseeing.

“Carter?  Which one?”

His head lolled.  Yellow spittle dripped from the edge of his mouth.

“WHICH ONE?!”

————————————————————————————————————————————————

Carter woke up and immediately coughed.

“Easy.  Here, drink this.”  An arm supported his shoulders and a hand held a cup of water to his lips.  He drank greedily, soothing his aching throat.  The last gulp he swirled around his dry mouth and then spat.  Only when he was done did he look up to see tired, concerned blue eyes watching him.  “How are you feeling?” Clarke asked while she gently laid him back down.

He took stock.  He was laying on the ground in the middle of his cave.  She had put a pillow under his head but apparently hadn’t been able to drag him to his bed.  That made sense.  With the state of her leg it was a miracle she had done that much.  His side hurt.  He propped himself up on an elbow and pulled his shirt up to see a row of neat, capable stitches.  She wasn’t lying when she said she was a medic.  He was sore, and probably would be for a while, but he wouldn’t die.  And he had this girl to thank for it.

“Carter?” She asked.  He realized he still hadn’t responded.  He wasn’t very good at this.  He wasn’t used to talking to people. 

“Good.  Considering.”  He laid back down and looked up at her.  Really looked at her.  She looked exhausted, sweaty, worried.  There was a streak of blood across her forehead.  He had the strangest urge to reach up and wipe it away so he fisted his hands against the ground.

She sighed in relief and then smiled.  It was the first time she’d smiled since he rescued her.  It was breathtaking.

“Oh good.  I’m glad.”

On the ground by her knee was his tin of antidotes.  One of the vials was empty.  He nodded towards it.  “How did you know which one to use?”

Her grin turned sheepish.  “Honestly?  Educated guess.  One of my friends was poisoned by grounders once.  Your symptoms were similar enough.  And if I guessed wrong…well, you wouldn’t have been any worse off at least.”

He stared at her, taking pains to keep his expression neutral.  She’d saved him based on luck?  She was even crazier…and more amazing than he thought.  And now he owed her his life.  They were both quiet and as he watched Clarke started worrying her bottom lip, her eyes turning distant and thoughtful.  Finally she decided to speak up.

“Carter…”

“Hmm.”

“What clan are you with?” Clarke asked neutrally.

She had asked him this question a dozen times before.  He’d never felt the need to tell her, but now…

“…None.  My parents were from warring clans.  They died when I was young.  Both clans shunned me.”

“Oh.”

There was a longer pause and then, in a shocking turn of events, Carter actually spoke first.

“Clarke?”

She blinked down at him, surprise clear on her features.  “Yes?”

“Do you still want to go home?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, it’s almost that time. What do you think the reaction will be when Clarke comes back from the dead? =) Only one more chapter and an epilogue after this. Hope you liked it!


	6. Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. The big one. I hope you guys like it! =D

Bellamy sat on a log near one of the fire pits, enjoying the relative quiet.  It was early still, camp was just starting to stir.  It had been about two weeks since Clarke had gone missing and things had stabilized.  At least as much as they were going to.  Bellamy had finally got his head on straight and things were running, well, better.  Thanks to Octavia he had stopped stomping through camp like an irritated mountain lion.  He also stopped snapping at people for nothing and he apologized to Jasper.  That had gone better than he expected.

_It was late when Bellamy finally worked up the nerve to look for Jasper.  Camp was lit mostly by large fire pits where people gathered to eat and talk. When he found him, Jasper was sitting alone in a far corner of camp, apparently watching the flames, lost in thought.  His forearms rested on his bent knees and his head was low._

_Bellamy took care to snap a twig so that he wouldn’t scare the lanky teen.  Jasper’s eyes snapped up and pierced Bellamy.  Bellamy gulped._

_“Hey.” He extended a cup of moonshine.  “Are you thirsty?”_

_Jasper watched him dully and for a second Bellamy thought he would just ignore him.  Then, slowly, Jasper reached out and took the cup.  Bellamy sat down a careful distance from Jasper, mirroring his pose and studying the murky liquid in his cup._

_“How’s your lip?” Bellamy asked._

_Jasper glanced at him sidelong.  “Sore.”_

_Bellamy grit his teeth and fought the urge to run away.  “Oh.”  They lapsed into stiff silence.  Bellamy’s leg was twitching nervously.  He sucked at apologies.  He took a deep breath and then let it out.  He had no words to go with all that air._

_“Why are you here Bellamy?”_

_Bellamy raised his head to see Jasper watching him.  He sighed dejectedly.  “To apologize.”_

_Jasper huffed a laugh.  “How’s that going then?”_

_Bellamy smirked wryly.  “It might not be the **worst**  one I’ve ever done.”_

_The other boy snorted._

_“Look Jas, I really am sorry…”_

_“You were right.”_

_“What?”_

_“You were right.  It’s my fault.  It was my job to protect them and now Clarke’s dea…”_

_“Hey!” Bellamy interrupted sharply.  “Don’t fucking say that shit!”  He couldn’t believe Jasper was taking some stupid shit he’d said when he was angry and blaming himself.  He wouldn’t allow it.  “It wasn’t your fault okay?  Nothing you did could’ve stopped that ledge from falling.  I was angry and…and scared for Clarke and I blamed you when I was angry at myself.  So just don’t fucking say that.”_

_Bellamy was breathing harshly and Jasper was staring at him slack-jawed.  “Got it?” Bellamy demanded._

_Jasper nodded._

_Bellamy’s ire slowly cooled.  He realized that he had come to apologize to Jasper for yelling at him and ended up yelling at him again.  “Sorry.  Really.”_

_“Yeah.  Me too.”_

_Bellamy nudged Jasper’s shoulder.  “Are we good?”_

_Jasper hesitated, then held up a closed fist.  Bellamy grinned and bumped it with his own._

_“Yeah, we’re good.”_

Since their talk Jasper had been smiling again and spending time with the others.  Bellamy could tell he was still torn up about what happened to Clarke.  They all were.  Bellamy rubbed a thumb over Clarke’s little crown on his wrist.  Every time he thought of her his fingers just seemed to go there.

For his part…Bellamy was coping.  That was the best that could be said.  He put on a good front, smiling and trying to be by himself what both he and Clarke were for the camp.  Most of their people seemed to believe it but he could feel Octavia’s and Raven’s and even Finn’s eyes on him.  Watching him.  Worrying for him.

He couldn’t blame them.  He was worried about himself.  His head was a jumbled mess of hurt and guilt and confusion.  He felt like he should be doing more to find Clarke but, shy of following O’s suggestions, his hands were tied.  He did sign himself up for as many hunting trips as he could.  But part of him had been forced to face the fact that Clarke might not be coming back.  He wasn’t dealing with it very well. 

It didn’t help that they’d left things so open ended.  Octavia had been right when she said he loved Clarke.  He’d acknowledged that privately. It was what he hadn’t been able to put a name to before she left.  Now he just felt regret.

A piercing whistle cut through the morning air and Bellamy’s head popped up in surprise.  They weren’t expecting any visitors but the guard had only whistled once.  He trotted over to the gate.

“Simmons!  Who is it?!” He called up.

Simmons looked down at Bellamy like he’d seen a ghost.  “You’re not gonna believe this but…it’s Clarke!”

All the blood drained from Bellamy’s face.  It wasn’t possible.  They’d been widening their perimeter patrols for days and nothing.  Then suddenly she just appears out of the forest?

He scrambled up the wall to the lookout.  “You better not be shitting me.  I’ll kick your ass.” He grumbled, grabbing the telescope from Simmons and peering through it.  He scanned the forest.  A frission of heat ran through him when he spotted an unmistakable cascade of golden hair.  “Oh my god…”

“See, I told you.  It’s Clarke!” Simmons exclaimed, drawing some attention.  Finn was walking by.  “What’s that about Clarke?”

Bellamy ignored him.  “Open the gate!” He roared, jumping and sliding down the ladder at the same time.  The second his boots hit the ground he was striding toward the steadily widening gap in the wall.

And just like that there she was.  Blonde hair, blue eyes, just like he remembered.  His whole world narrowed to a single point and before he even realized it he was in motion.

“Clarke!” Bellamy bellowed, racing out of the gates.  Jasper, Miller, and a good half of the camp were hot on his heels.  He should be yelling at the idiots to get back inside the gates and not let their guard down but all he could see was the blonde girl he thought was gone forever.

She was propped on a makeshift crutch and he would disembowel whoever hurt her.  He saw red when the grounder she was with pushed her behind him.  He brought his gun up to bear on the animal, ready to drop him.

“Let.  Her.  Go.” He bit out, finger teasing the trigger.  If this fucker didn’t get out of the way soon Bellamy would not be held responsible for what he did next.

“Bellamy, no!”

He almost swallowed his tongue when instead of 190 pounds of grounder, his gun was suddenly pointed at Clarke’s chest.  She hobbled out in front of the grounder, splaying her arms protectively.  He quickly shifted the muzzle so that it was aimed at the grounder’s head.  He could barely stomach the image of his gun pointed at  _Clarke_  and no matter what she did she would never be tall enough to cover the giant man’s head.

“Bellamy.  Stop.  He’s like Lincoln!  Listen, he saved me, he’s like Lincoln okay?  Put the gun down.”  She turned halfway, balancing awkwardly on her crutch, and rested her hand on the grounder’s forearm.  “Carter, relax.  These are my people remember?  They’re why we came here in the first place.  They won’t hurt us.  Right Bellamy?”  Blue eyes that made his heart ache pled with him to be on her side on this.

He sighed, lowering the gun.  “Right.”

Clarke smiled, sagging in relief.  When she started to walk towards the crowd the grounder made a soft sound of protest.  She paused, turning again and giving his arm a squeeze before making her slow, solitary way across the gap.  The world seemed to hang in suspension.  Bellamy fought the urge to rush forward and help her, scoop her up in his arms and never let her go again, but he could see the determination in her face.  Somehow this was symbolic for her.  So he waited until she stood before him.  He drank her in, from the new tears in her clothing and the healing bruises on her skin to the light sheen of sweat on her forehead.  She tilted her head up and their eyes met.  He was relieved to see that determination still burning brightly in her.  He’d been worried that, if she ever came back to them, it would be broken, a shell of herself.  He was glad to be wrong.

As he gazed down at her, he couldn’t help it if some of the warmth he held for her bled through.  He thought she might have noticed because her features softened slightly at something she saw in his face.  If he had already given something away there was no point trying to take it back now.  So he smiled, a real, full smile.

“Welcome home princess.”

She barked a laugh, her eyes sparkling with success and relief.

“I never thought I’d miss hearing you say that.”

Just like that the ice was broken and suddenly she was surrounded by people hugging her and patting her on the back and calling her name.  They all wanted a piece of her to reassure themselves that their princess was truly back.  Before he could even figure out what to do she was swept up into the arms of their people, the tide of enthusiasm carrying her into camp.  She looked back for a second, her eyes searching and finding his, before Raven and Octavia stole her attention.

He strolled back into camp and gestured to Miller.  “Send someone to Arkdown.  Let Dr. Griffin know that Clarke’s alive.”

“Right.” Miller turned to carry out his orders which left Bellamy alone with the grounder.  The grounder started to follow Clarke but Bellamy stepped in his path.

“Why did you save her?” He demanded.  Carter blinked.  That was not the question he had expected from the young king.

“That is not your concern.” Carter went to step around him but Bellamy just placed himself square in his path.

“If you want to take another step through these gates you’ll answer me.  I have more people to think of than just her.” 

Carter watched the emotions roiling in those dark eyes and wasn’t so sure.  Those eyes said that, in this moment, Clarke was all he was thinking of. 

“If you’re a threat to us I want to know now.”

Carter kept his face neutral.  “And what if I am a threat?”

“Then I’ll drop you where you stand.”

Carter raised an incredulous eyebrow.  “You wouldn’t even make it to your weapon.”

Bellamy just smirked.  “You have no idea what I’m capable of.”

He was attempted to take offense at this imperious young lion, but Carter recognized the protective instinct in him.  It was that same instinct that prompted Carter to rush head first into a Reaper hunting party.  Carter respected him for his desire to protect his people.  Particularly Clarke. 

“I haven’t even given her this answer and she has asked many times.”

Bellamy was unmoved.

Carter sighed through his nose.  He glanced over Bellamy’s shoulder.  He could barely see Clarke in the sea of her people.  It made him anxious.  It was only this that prompted his answer. 

“I saved her because she didn’t deserve the death that was coming to her.”  Bellamy’s brow furrowed in confusion.  “I watched her fight.  Golden hair, blue eyes that lit up the night, she was impossible not to see.  She fought hard.  She was barely conscious, bleeding heavily, with no hope of survival but she fought anyway.  She would have made them kill her.  I…used to know someone like that.  So I saved her.  And that’s all.”

Bellamy looked slightly horrified by the picture he was painting.  He gathered himself quickly, reluctantly stepping out of Carter’s way.  “Fine.  Just…don’t cause any trouble.”

Bellamy watched him go.  He walked over to where Clarke was standing surrounded by her people.  He stood by her right shoulder like a watchful shadow.  She noticed his presence almost immediately, giving him a bright smile before being drawn back into the conversation.

Bellamy had originally planned to join the others by the fire.  Maybe worm his way through the crowd to Clarke’s side.  And of course he was overjoyed that she was back, but, watching the grounder watch Clarke, Bellamy suddenly didn’t feel so much like celebrating.  He melted into the shadows and began the slow trek back to Alpha cabin.

“That’s all, huh?”

————————————————————————————————————————————————

Clarke walked through camp towards Alpha cabin.  She was exhausted, bone-deep, and her wounds were aching, but she couldn’t go to bed yet.  She needed to talk to Bellamy.  After their meeting at the gate she’d barely seen him, pulled in every direction by Raven and Finn and Octavia and Jasper and a hundred others.  She was actually a little disappointed that he hadn’t come and found her himself.

She walked down the long main corridor of the cabin.  It was strangely surreal to be home.  She made it to the end of the hall and, instead of turning left into her room, she turned right.

She raised a hand and tapped on the cloth covering the entrance to Bellamy’s room.  “Knock knock.”

“Yeah.”

She ducked into the room.  Bellamy was sitting cross-legged on his pallet with his back pressed against the wall of the cabin.  It looked like he was whittling but he looked up when she came in.

For a full minute they just looked at each other.  Clarke’s eyes roved his face hungrily.  She had been waiting for this more than she even realized.  Tension that she didn’t even realize she was holding left her now that she was with Bellamy again.  He looked tired.  There were large bags under his eyes and she spared a thought to worry whether he was taking care of himself with her gone.  Probably not.

Despite his apparent exhaustion, he was still Bellamy.  Freckles and dark eyes and rakishly disheveled hair.

She smiled so brightly it felt like it would split her face.  “Hey.”

He grinned back helplessly.  “Hey.”

And just like that they were back to normal.  Clarke sat down at a ninety degree angle to Bellamy.  She groaned, stretching out her leg and laying her crutch within reach.  When she looked up Bellamy was staring at her crutch with a look like someone had punched him in the gut.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

He nodded at her leg.  “What happened there?”

She grimaced.  “Sadistic Reaper with a very long knife.”  She rolled up her pant leg and revealed carefully wrapped bandages.  “Thank goodness for Carter.  If falling from a tree didn’t kill me the blood loss definitely would’ve.”

Bellamy’s expression shuttered at the mention of Carter.  “Speaking of your grounder, where is he?”

“He’s setting up camp outside.  He doesn’t like to be in the walls.”  Bellamy’s eyebrows twitched.  “What?”

“I’m just surprised.  I thought you’d want to sleep in your own room.”

“What are you talking about?  Of course I’m going to sleep in my room.”

“Oh.  So grounder’s gonna brave the walls to join you then?” He asked coldly.

Clarke sighed.  This was falling apart quickly.  Definitely not the way she had pictured her first conversation with Bellamy.  “I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.  I’m tired, I’m sore, so can you please just stop dancing around it and ask me what you’re trying to ask?”

Bellamy grit his teeth.  “You said he was like Lincoln.”

Clarke frowned.  “Yeah.  He saved my life just like Lincoln saved Octavia’s.  So?”

“So?  So Lincoln saved Octavia and then they fell in love.  Now they’re practically married.”

“Bellamy just get to the point.”

Bellamy gave her a disbelieving look, his eyes flashing with anger.  “Forget it.” He spat.

“I don’t understand why you’re so angry!” Clarke exclaimed.  Her eyes were burning and she felt close to tears.  All she had thought about while she was gone was coming back to confront what was between her and Bellamy and he was acting like he wasn’t even happy she was alive.

He didn’t respond, his lips a thin line.  His hands were fisted and his face was red.  She tried to understand what was going on.  And then it hit her like a thunderbolt.  Jealous.  He was acting jealous.

Clarke sat there for a second, completely poleaxed.  Then she got wildly, irrationally angry.  “You’re an idiot.” She muttered darkly.

“What?” Bellamy hissed.  Clarke grabbed her crutch and pushed herself up.  She glared at him.  “You heard me.  You are an idiot Bellamy Blake.”

He stood up angrily.  “Oh really?”

“Yes really!”

“How do you figure that?” He snarled, stepping closer to her.

“I don’t ‘figure’ it.  It’s a fact!”

“Well then, princess, please, educate us poor peasants!” He spat, stepping closer to her again so that they were practically chest to chest in the small space.

“You’re an idiot because if you were in love with me you should’ve just told me!” She cried out.  Then she grabbed the collar of his t-shirt so she could yank him forward and press her lips violently to his. 

Bellamy responded immediately, arms banding around her, fingers shooting into her hair, lips aggressively melding and dancing with hers.  He groaned.  He wanted to melt into her. 

Before he could get too caught up in the feeling of her lips against his Clarke shoved him away again.  Her chest was heaving and her eyes were flashing angrily.  “You think of that the next time you accuse me of loving another man!” She snarled.  Then she turned and walked away.

“Oh no you don’t!” He exclaimed, darting forward and grabbing her arm.  With her crutch she was too slow to really stalk away effectively.

“Let go of me!”

“No way princess.” He turned her around, keeping a firm hold on her biceps so that she couldn’t try to leave again…or hit him.  Her blue eyes were flashing with fire, a sure sign that she was seconds away from slapping him.  Normally he would let her go and cool off but after that shocking statement, and frankly incredible kiss, he couldn’t just let things lie.

“Let’s suppose, hypothetically, I am in love with you.  What difference would it make if I told you or not?”

Her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed as if she was just realizing what she had implied.  She ducked her head to stare at their feet.  There was less than an inch of distance between his scuffed combat boots and her smaller hiking shoes.

“Princess?”  Bellamy’s voice was begging her to answer him but she just couldn’t.  If she was wrong…  Maybe he just didn’t like grounders.  That sounded like Bellamy.  Or maybe he thought of her like a sister.  He expressed the same concern for Octavia after all.  God that would be horrible.

“Clarke.”  Bellamy’s hands loosened from around her arms and one ran up, over her shoulder, across her collarbone, to tilt her chin up.  “Why would it matter?” His eyes implored her.

Clarke’s heart was pounding in her chest so loudly that she was surprised it didn’t betray her.  She shivered, adrenaline drumming through her as strongly as when the Reapers chased her.  There would be no going back if she did this.

But then, wasn’t that kind of the point?

“Because then I could say I’m in love with you too.” She breathed.

Bellamy stood completely immobile and for a second Clarke was really afraid that she had just made a huge mistake.  Then a smile bloomed on his lips.  A real, genuine smile.

“Well.  In that case.” He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into him until their chests were touching.  His ducked his head and when he spoke she could feel the heat of his breath on her lips.  “I love you Clarke Griffin.”

Her blue eyes lit up and shone in the dim cabin.  “I love you Bellamy Blake.”

Before he could close that final distance between them Clarke brought a hand up and pressed it to his lips.

“We need to get one thing straight.  Carter isn’t Lincoln and I am not Octavia.”

Bellamy pulled back slightly and smirked.  “Thank god for that.  Otherwise I couldn’t do this.”

He pressed his lips against hers and Clarke finally let herself melt against him.  She let go of her crutch and leaned her weight against his firm chest.  And she finally, finally tangled her fingers in his unruly curls the way she’d been wanting to do for months.  He held her so tight but instead of feeling claustrophobic it made her feel safe.  These arms were the ones she’d been dreaming of.

Bellamy kissed her with a hunger and an absorption that was dizzying.  His lips tucked themselves in between hers and when his tongue probed the entrance of her mouth she opened readily.  He groaned and flicked his tongue in a way that had her sighing and shivering against him.

They kissed for long minutes and Clarke would’ve been content to kiss much longer but her leg started to ache.  She shifted, trying to find a more comfortable position.  Bellamy noticed but, rather than let her go, he swept her up and laid her gently down on his pallet, his lips never for a second leaving hers.  He blanketed her with his body and she couldn’t help but arch up against him.  She felt him grin against her lips.  He kissed a fiery trail down her throat across her collarbones to the hollow at the base of her neck.  Then, very carefully, he sucked the skin there into his mouth and nibbled delicately until she was squirming beneath him. 

He pulled back and surveyed his handiwork like a satisfied cat.  “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”  He rasped.

She panted, arching an eyebrow in challenge.  “Is that all you wanted to do?”

He blinked in surprise before his lips spread in a grin so full of dark promise that she shivered.  “I’m just getting started princess.”

What followed was more satisfying than she had even dreamed of.  It was passionate and sometimes combative.  With the two of them it couldn’t be anything else.  But it was also surprisingly tender.  He undressed her slowly, peeling every article of clothing away with reverence.  When her body was revealed to him he sat back on his heels, just taking her in for long moments.  With anyone else she would have felt self-conscious, but she and Bellamy had been stripped bare before each other long before this moment.

His eyes lingered on her yellowing bruises and the cuts that were slowly knitting themselves together.  He proceeded to trail his lips over each and every one, his kisses like a balm.  He paid special attention to the long wound on her leg.  It would scar, leaving a trail of evidence from her hip to just above her knee, but Bellamy made it more than clear that it was a mark she should wear with pride.  To him it was proof that she was alive and that was beautiful.  She watched him adoringly, stroking tender fingers through his hair and along his arms and back.

Only when they were both panting and quivering with the exertion of holding themselves back did they finally come together. 

“Bellamy, please.” Clarke sighed. 

“Anything princess.” He promised.

Their limbs tangled and they fit together like they were made for each other.  He pushed and she pulled and together they found their way.

Just like always.

————————————————————————————————————————————————

After the first time they both fell asleep quickly, exhaustion finally catching up to them.  They slept soundly, without nightmares.  When Bellamy woke up it was to Clarke’s fingers ghosting over his chest which led to round two.  Now, after round three, they both lay awake.  Bellamy was spooned up behind Clarke, both of them still naked.  He watched her.  He couldn’t seem to look away.  Every strand of golden hair, every rise and fall of her chest, the brush of skin on skin, it all confirmed that she really was alive and safe, here in his arms.

He never thought he’d have this.

His arm was wrapped around her and Clarke played with the blue cloth that was wrapped around his wrist.  He’d worn the necklace he made her like a token and this, more than anything, told her how much he missed her.  He wouldn’t do something so sentimental if he didn’t care.  She tapped her index finger against the tiny wooden crown and watched it swing back and forth.

“Do you want it back?” He rumbled against her.

“Uh uh.” She shook her head.  “I like it where it is.  It says you’re mine.”

He turned her so she was on her back and he was hovering over her.  “Oh yeah?  Well, this says you’re mine.” He traced a finger in circles around his mark at the base of her throat.  She shuddered against him.

“Good.” She replied, leaning up to kiss him deeply.  He sighed against her but, rather than following through like she expected, he pulled away and buried his face in her neck and held her tightly.

“I’m really glad you’re okay.” He whispered to her skin.

She wrapped him in her arms, running her hands up and down his back.  A year ago if someone told her that Bellamy Blake would ever be this affectionate she would have checked them for jobi nuts.  “Me too.”

He pulled away.  “Seriously Clarke.  I was a mess without you.  Don’t ever do anything like that again.”

“Hey, I’m here, I’m okay, I’m alive.”  He didn’t look appeased.  “Okay, how about this?  We both promise to do our best never to die or get lost but, if we do, we also promise to lead the camp anyway.  Deal?”

He grunted.  “I’d be happier if you promised never to leave the walls…”

She shot him an incredulous look.

“Okay fine.  I promise.”

“Good.  Me too.”

He settled against her.  He was almost asleep again when she spoke.  “I think I was a mess without you too.  But, if this disaster finally got you to kiss me, I think I’m probably okay with it.”

He grinned, pressing a kiss to the side of her neck.  “I’m probably okay with it too princess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that’s it! The whole point of this fic was just to have jealous!Bellamy. Clearly it got away from me a bit haha. But it was totally worth it. There’s just an epilogue after this. I hope you guys liked it!


	7. Getting Started

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short, fluffy epilogue to wrap it all up. =D

Clarke stretched luxuriantly.  She smiled when her fingertips brushed against warm muscle.  They had spent as much of the last week as possible cocooned in their, now shared, bedroom and Clarke had discovered that Bellamy was a sprawler.  As they drifted off he would be wrapped around her, but by the time she awoke he had inevitably shifted to take up as much of the bed as possible.

She opened her eyes and turned over, dancing her fingers up and down his ribcage.  His nose wrinkled and she grinned.  “Psst.  Lazybones.  Time to get up.”

He groaned, rolling over and trapping her underneath his arm.  “No.”

She huffed a laugh.  “C’mon.  Carter’s leaving today and I have to say goodbye.”

He ignored her, shifting closer to bury his head between her breasts.

She rolled her eyes and used the only tool at her disposal.  She poked him hard in the sides with her fingertips.

He yelped, ratcheting up to glare at her.  She giggled.  “Not cool Clarke.” He pouted.

She leaned up to peck him on the lips.  “Not sorry lazypants.  Now, c’mon, we need to get up.”

“I don’t think so.” He caged her in his arms, smirking.  “I think you owe me for such a rude awakening.”

She looked up at him through her lashes.  “Oh really?”

“Mmhmm.” He nodded.

“Well, you know how I hate to owe people.”

He nodded again.  “I do.”

“Let’s see what I can do to make it up to you.”

He grinned and brought his head down to hers until their lips met.  Maybe it was coincidence or maybe it had been Clarke’s plan all along but in the next few minutes it didn’t really matter.

Eventually they made it out of bed and out into the sunlight.  Bellamy had stuck close to Clarke, both to help her while she was still recovering, though she was never short of willing hands, and to reassure himself that she was really alive.

She made sure to kiss him often.  It helped reassure him and, conveniently, it also clearly displayed their new status to camp.

The first time she did it she was pretty sure she saw Raven give Jasper a high five.

They passed Octavia and Abby who were washing some bandages.  That had been a tearful reunion.  Abby had managed to make it to Dropsite practically overnight once she got the news that Clarke was alive.  Abby had held her the way she held Clarke as a child and Clarke had cried.  It was cathartic and had bridged whatever gap was still between them.  Kane had stayed at Arkdown to lead, though he had sent a small army to protect Abby on her way.  It was so him and Clarke understood.  He cared a lot about Abby and he cared about Clarke in his own way, but he would always be a pragmatist.

Carter was waiting near the open gate.  When they got close Bellamy splintered off, his excuse being that he needed to talk to Miller.  She knew he was trying to give her time to say goodbye.

She walked the rest of the way herself.  She still used her crutch but she wouldn’t need it anymore in another few days.

They looked quietly at each other for a few minutes.  Carter had always been a man of few words, though when he came to tell her that he was leaving he did finally explain why he saved her.  He was satisfied that she was safe here.  He and Bellamy clasped hands.  It helped.

“Do you really have to go?” Clarke asked with a smile.  “You know you’re more than welcome here.”

Carter smiled, just a quirk of the lips.  “I’m grateful.  But I am still uncomfortable around so many people.” He glanced incredulously at the bustling campsite.

“It can definitely be a little overwhelming.  But you don’t need to go so far away.  You could make your home here…”

Carter shook his head, his tiny smile turning indulgent.  “My home is my cave.  I belong there.”

Clarke nodded.  “I understand.  But you’ll visit won’t you?  Please?”

The quiet grounder studied her.  She was better here than she ever would have been in his cave.  This was her place.  Leading these people.  Loving these people.  He glanced at Bellamy who hovered not so subtly near the drop ship.  Bellamy.  That was the name she called back in the cave at the height of her fever.  Maybe someday he would make his home closer to Dropsite.  There were more allies here.  Hell, a change might do him good.  But for now?  He was leaving her in good hands.  He nodded.  “Yes.  I will visit.”

Clarke gave him a look.  Seemingly satisfied, she nodded.  “Good.”  Then, to his surprise, she embraced him.  “Thank you for everything Carter.”

He wrapped a tentative arm around her and squeezed gently.  Then, taking a chance, he pressed a soft kiss to her hair.  “No Clarke.  Thank you.”

Before she could ask what he meant he was gone, melding seamlessly with the forest. 

The comforting weight of a familiar arm settled across her shoulders and she looked up to see Bellamy watching her neutrally.  She sighed, leaning her head against his chest.

“You okay?” He asked.

“Yeah.  I just feel bad that he left.  Like I owe him a home for saving my life.”

“You saved his life too Clarke.” She had filled him in on the events of those few weeks.  “I think you’re even.”

“I guess so.”

They walked back into camp together, his arm still around her shoulders.  There was a flurry of activity again.  The festival had been rescheduled for two days from now and Dropsite was busy preparing.  There seemed to be a general determination, likely spurred by Octavia, to make this festival even better than the first was going to be in celebration of Clarke’s return.

Jasper and Monty had outdone themselves and there was a small pyramid of moonshine casks just waiting to be cracked.  Raven had also gone above and beyond.  She managed to rig some kind of speaker system with bits of wire and a disc player scavenged from a half-buried car.  That combined with some old CDs gave them music that could be heard across the whole camp.  Even Finn, with his little army of 11 year old girls, had decorated the camp to within an inch of its life with flowers and wreaths.

The two leaders took in the chaos with matching grins.  “Is life always gonna be this good?” Clarke asked.

Bellamy smiled down at her and then pulled her in for a kiss that made her toes curl.

“Oh princess.  We’re just getting started.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s a wrap! My first ever completed multi-chapter fanfiction! Thank you so much to everyone who read, liked, commented, or reblogged. You guys made this experience fantastic.
> 
> I’ve got another multi-chap Bellarke fic in the works but I think this one will be a lot larger in scope. I’ve learned from experience that I can’t post multi-chap fic before it’s finished or I’ll never finish it. So I’ll keep working on it but for now it’s gonna be a little quiet on the fanfic front from me. Still, I’m sure with the new season on its way Bellamy and Clarke won’t let me stay quiet for long.
> 
> Until then, I love you all. Thanks again! =D
> 
> <3 Beadedslipper
> 
> P.S. Find me on tumblr at beadeslipper.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first completed multi-chapter fic! I'm so excited and I hope you like it! I'll be posting a new chapter every day or two depending on how long last edits take. =D


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